Why do i still love him soo much - Breakup Trauma

Hi Im Neha,
i want to share my relationship experience with u all,and i hope i get some good advice. :)
I m 17yrs old n i was in a very serious relationship wid this guy who was 15yrs old i.e 2yrs smaller than me... he was very fair n i m very dark in complexion... he was the one 2 propose me because he like my nature of being truely n sincerely in love eith some1... i was in love wid another guy 4 7yrs (onesided) b4 but he badly left mewen he kne i loved him.. but this guy came in my life n said that he wil b wid me forevr... in i got my past in gave in my 200% to this guy... i left all my friends 4 him... i stopped talkin to boys for him... i stopped wearin short revealing dresses for him... he to listened 2 certain things if i said... but if i evn said a hie to a guy we wud fite badly.. if i wore somthing little abv my knees he wud fite badly... but i still loved him souly n wid all my heart... then i used to b quite a lott of time sad... n as i didnt any ANYONE in my life to share my feeelings to i wud tell him... but then he used to get irritated because of me most of the time being sadn he thought y wud i evr b happy...but i was happy all the tomes we wud meet.. on the fone i wud sulk.. i wudnt mingle up wid ppl easily... he started feeling insecure to flaunt me in front of his friends... n den finally he said i wana get physical... n this was the 1st time in my 11mths relationship that i refused to anything he said.. i flatly said no... not now we r too young id ok aftr 20-22 but not now n thus he brokeup wid me... i di all these sacrifices for him but those didnt matter to all he wanted was to take of my top... we used to cuddle smooch at my place evryday but that jst wasnt wnough for him... he wanted more n said no... m i rong in wat i did... is it that i gave him my finger n he took my hand???? plzz advice me how to move on??? or any other website that cn help me giving tips on hoe to move on??? if u any of u wana b friend wid me i will promise to b trustworthy faithful friends to u.. this lonlyness is killin me..plzz advice on wether m i worth this pain is it my mistake??? plzzz rplyy

Hi Neha, welcome to the eTI forum, first of all I would like to suggest you that never use your real name on internet and specially when you are asking for advice. Secondly, lets be friend and let us help you. We all are your friend here and there is nothing like loneliness, its just that for a certain period of life, you are missing something which you have no more access or control, in your case it is your ex- you just left.

Now coming to your issue, please understand, whatever you feel is right is right, if you feel whatever you did is justified then you shouldn't doubt upon it.

Lets talk about your relationship, you said you 17 but you also said you were in love from last 7 years, it means you loved a guy for 10 years ( most probably a classmate) , here again this boy came to you and asked for relationship and you moved on, nothing wrong in it. I think you seriously need to understand between crush and love.

Now this boy, he left you when you denied to get physical with him, clearly for him it was more a relationship of lust than love. You are now feeling lonely just because you were used to him, you cut off from your friends because him so its natural to feel lonely. Just stop thinking about him, get yourself busy in something constructive and sure things will be fine. May be you can acquire some skill or develop new hobby, can be anything from learning new cuisine to mastering in billiards or pool ..

Also, a request, please use full words and to not use this "chat" type of language, it makes it really hard to read all that in short form.

hey neha

just forget about him and move on. he is not worthy of you.honey you are just 17. Whole world is waiting for you.you know something.. i have been through the same experience.i left all my friends just to please him. he made me anti-social.i thought he is my true love but you know my mom told me once...a true partner is the one who respects you.who respects you friends,your priorites,your choices in the same way he respects his.A person who is making you alone,who is not even respecting you ,is not a right person for you. thank god you didn't get physical to him....this loser doesn't deserve this. please save yourself for the right person.i am sure one day you will meet your mr. right. just forget about him. its just a phase in your life ,it will pass away...trust me :)i m saying it from my own experience .