Is this love or lust-cuddling with other- Is it right or wrong?

Hi.....I don't know if this is love or friendship or lust. I joined a new company recently from 7 months and live in the same apartment complex as my colleague. Initially we did not even touch each other....were just friends and he helped me a lot. Slowly we started holding hands and he used to kiss me on the cheek and hand. We openly have been talking about how our families are totally different and each of us can never love or marry anyone and it has to be an arranged marriage. But I started liking him and have become dependent on him to hold me together, hug me and talk to me. We keep talking, texting everyday even at work and after coming home, we cook at one's place and eat together. Slowly we started lying down in the same couch while watching tv. He used to kiss me all over the face on hands and on my breasts. But recently we kissed each other on the lips because we could not resist. Every day he kisses all over my face, neck, masturbates and grabs my breasts and presses them so hard. We talked about not doing it couple of times but we cannot resist by evening but we have never had sex. Both of our parents are looking for matches for us. There is no way we can get married. Am I making a mistake of continuing this unknown relationship furthur? Or should I stop spending time with him?

Please advice.

Hi Ridh,

People tend to get involved into physical relationships usually in two cases (i) either they are in love (ii) they need someone to satisfy their physical urge. Simple is your case here. You both are not ready to get into a committed love relationship. All I can perceive from your problem statement is, there is no love, no commitment, but an need to satisfy your sexual urge.

I don't understand why and how have you both decided that marriage is not a feasible thing ? Before actually going into a relationship, you guys have quitted for reasons unknown to me.

Keeping the relationship part aside, getting involved in a physical relationship with a friend might be genuine for some and not for others. I am not holding your friend wrong here because he is doing what you have actually allowed him to do and if you feel its wrong, you should have had stopped him in his first move.

If you consider the whole thing wrong, then both of you are contributors to it. If he is doing something which you feel is not genuine then ofcourse, you are enjoying it too and that is the reason why you are not able to resist yourself

But, remember, everything within a limit is good. When things go beyond a certain limit, it ends up into addiction which leads you to every possible wrong things happening your way.

Having and enjoying sex is okay because this is something that comes naturally but again having it within a limit is what appreciatable.


Second point I would like you to focus on is, how will you explain your to-be husband/boyfriend about your so called " unknown relationship " ? If you find a answer which can justify your present relationship with this guy to your to-be husband, you may very well continue with what you are doing. But if, you feel involving in a sexual relationship with someone might put you and your character in doubt in coming future, you should stop it right away.

The decision is upto you to make !!!

Again it is upto you to decide, eventually you both will end up having proper sex, even if we say don't do it, you will both get into sexual intercourse. Pulkit said it right, if you find it justified then carry on and if you dont' then stop right away.