My Ex-Girl Friend Calls me after 16yrs-feeling shattered

I was very close to marrying my junior in college. We were very much in love and wanted to get married in 1996. Her parents agreed to it, but my parents didn't and she didn't want to get married without their approval. I was in US at that time and she was in India. Long story short, I was so pissed off at her because she was not ready to leave everything and marry me. I pretty much moved on and got married a couple of years later in 1998.My life has been going on fine just like a typical Indian arranged marriage. I hardly thought about my girl friend and went on to have 2 kids. It was a perfect marriage for the outside world at least. I didn't ever try to get in touch with my girl friend. Now she some how gets hold of me in Oct, 2012 and talks to me after 16 yrs. She told me that she tried to contact me in 1996 but I didn't pickup the phone and I also didn't answer her messages. She said she is still thinking about me even though she has been married for 15yrs and has a 14yr old daughter. I am just crushed after hearing this and not able to move on with my life now. I feel so very guilty and also miss her a lot. I don't have her phone# or her address as he friend conferenced us in to make sure we don't get in touch. I am not able to move on now even for a minute. I don't know what to do, I fee very very frustrated and get suicidal thoughts or feel like killing some one.

Hi Ashok, that is really shattering but without making it lengthy I want to say here that your ex-gf has made a big mistake by calling you like this, she has 14 year girl and you too have kids, without even realizing consequences , she just called you. Do you even realize if you both do something at this stage , it can affect many lives and not to mention, your children.

Understand it that its not your fault at all, there is nothing to feel guilty, I think she is going through some difficult phase of life and hence she desperately called you (but again you should not worry as now you both have your own separate life).

It is somewhat true that you can't forget one you really loved, but life is not always how you wanted it to be. That was your past, leave it and don't disturb your current and future because of that past. Let her go out of your life forever.

However, it would have been different case if she has not married, still waiting for you but thats not the case, she is married has moved on, and she must realize it. Love also means that you care for your LOVE.. whether being with love or moved away from your LOVE.