Hello everyone ! I am 23 years old and in a relationship with a guy from last 5years . The guy is Punjabi and I'm baniya . My father won't agree for my marriage with the guy . Instead he is planning to get me married in 3-4 months to a baniya guy . I dont want to marry any1 else . I love that guy . Plus the guy's family have no objection to our relationship and marriage . Please help me , what should I do ?
Hello friend,
The 2 simple and most effective solutions to the situation can be that:-
1. Tell your father about your relationship and try to convince him any how or by ay means. If he gets ready for it than its OK but if not than you go for plan "B" i.e say no to marriage to every other guy.
2. Don't tell your father about your relationship if you think that he will not support you but, just keep ignoring and refusing the marriage funda. Saying no to 3-4 proposals for marriage would automatically prove that there is some one in your life or there is some thing which you want to share with your family. Your family would ask you for the same and hope so they will get ready for your arrange cum love marriage.
Hello there,
I agree with Rishabh Sharma, saying yes to the one you love and no to all others will prove them your point. And try to get family and family friends support, especially those whom your father likes, try to win their support for your love and marriage with your guy and then let them speak to your father in approving with your guy. And along with practical methods, there are spiritual, DIVINE ways to win your love and marriage.Follow the below link. And there have been many successful intercaste , inter-religious marriages which were opposed initially,so it is not that difficult as it may seem now. So do follow the ways to the best you can.
http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ds-dr-sky.html
Dr.Sky
Hi There,
Well whatever Rishabh and dr. sky told can be followed, but I feel there is something you should do before following them.
1) You haven't told your family about your relationship yet and everything written above is a direct conclusion of your assumptions. It is nothing, but your assumption that your family will reject the proposal because of inter-caste. No, remember parents always want their child to stay happy, safe, secure in every terms with whomsoever he is. They don't trust on us because they feel we are immature and innocent and we tend to do things without thinking and judging ( which is somewhere true, but not always ). Also, marrying you to a guy of your own community and caste will never guarantee that he will treat you like " princess " or he is the one you deserve.
So, understand, when you talk to your dad ( which you should do by now ) or whomsoever you are close to in your immediate family, you forget not to base your reasons on above written points. You need to make them understand that their decision can be wrong as well. So, even if they don't agree to marry you to your boyfriend, they should at least make an effort to meet him and understand whether he is the one for you or not.
2) Also, since your boyfriend's family has agreed on your relationship with him, you should not face any difficulties in talking about it to your family. If needed, try to make both the families meet so that they can discuss the matter on their own level of understanding.
Saying no to 3-4 proposals for marriage would automatically prove that there is some one in your life or there is some thing which you want to share with your family. Your family would ask you for the same and hope so they will get ready for your arrange cum love marriage.
Thankyou Rishabh for your advice ... I will follow it and hope it gives me a positive result .
And drsky .... Thanks for repliein but i don't believe in fasting and prayers .. I m strong enough to fight back my fate and change it . And I only join my hands to thank God for the life he gave and never to complain for anything !
@pulkit : It isn't a conclusion of my assumptions ... I have talked to my mother regarding this and she knows everything but talking to my dad is the major issue , even my mother feels he won't agree .... So its a huge problem . But still thankyou all for giving solutions . I appreciate ! :)
Hi Dear,
you know this is exactly my situation. I was scared to tell my father and he was looking for other alliances for me, even my mother knew and she was fearing my father would never agree to it and so i was not getting my mother support as well. But then one day my situation let me told my father and guess what thats when due to saibaba grace things started falling in place and now m getting married soon. SO dont assume coz u make ass out of u and me have confidence and tell your parents before its too late. Saibaba will do you good. take care
You are so correct sameeksha,
Yes, the fact that you haven't talked to your father about your relationship clears that you are making all assumptions based on the nature of your father, one practical thing you can do is make a meeting of ur family with your guy as a friend let them know each other and this will help you to put forth hints infront of ua father regarding marriage with him, also if possible let your guys parents aproach with the proposal of marriage as they seem to be ready for your marriage but only after making ua guy meet your parents personally.
Hi aarzugarg,
Well, whatever swapnilramani said above, is correct. This can be followed.
Rejecting upcoming marriage proposals one after the other might put you into an answerable stage as to why are you rejecting the proposals ? Now, this might have another effect on your father. Instead of understanding your feelings for your boyfriend, he might very well consider you immature enough to reject some " very good " proposals.
So, I would advice you to talk to your father first about your relationship and then, reject any upcoming marriage offers. This will make him understand the gravity of the situation very well.
Now, if you keep on rejecting some good proposals one after the other, you will be answerable to your father. If the offers are really good, you will find it very difficult to base your reasons. Afterall, if the guy is good looking, earning well, from an educated family and is well settled, what reason will you give to your father for rejecting the proposal. This will lead to unwanted discussions and quibbles between both of you.
So, I would advise you to take a safer approach in this case. Give your father a reason to reject the offers, first. So that if he brings any marriage proposal to you, he would first think about your wishes and priorities. Later, you can reject the proposals that come your way. This will automatically explain your father what you want. With minimal risks and lesser chances of heated discussions, you can put forth your point.
Sooner or later, you have to face your father. So, why not do it in one go instead of delaying the matter to some more couple of weeks ? As far as I can say, your father will appreciate that his daughter showed some courage to come upto him and discuss with him what she ever wanted in her life, rather than scaring away from him. He is your father. If he cannot understand you, nobody can. And I have heard, father is a daughter's only inspiration because he is the only person on earth who treats her like princess.
So, don't feel afraid in reaching out to him and discussing the matter. You have your mother's support as well and guy's family too. Just discuss with him all the good things you see in your boyfriend and how closely can you compare your father to him. Tell your father the love and care your boyfriend shows to you, makes you remind of him and that, you will be at utmost happiness if you are married to him because he will keep you happy just as your father did.
You just convince your parents on both sides
From
FlowerAura
Thankyou guys for your help . I will tell my father about it soon !
same shit story punjabi bania...all bania girls face these prob...hey girl reply wat happnin now....