Feeling of guilt after intercaste marriage

I am Shikha and married with Muslim boy me & my hubby we both working and well settled.
But I am disturb form my past life aisa lagta hai pyar karne ke itni badi saja milegi. Mujhe Pyar to milne ki khushi to hai par ek guilt hamesha rehega. Jab maine apne relationship ke bare mein apne parents ko bataya to vo bahut naraz hue aur meri shadi ke liya mana kar diya par maine bhi unshe kuch nahi kaha aursab kuch God par chorde diya. Ek din mera papa ne drink ke nache mein mere affaire ke bare mein mera uncle bata diya bas is tarah se ye baat sabhi relative & colony mein fahal gayi. Ek hindu & muslim ke relationship ko Punjabi people kabhi accept nahi kar sakte. Sab log mujhe galat samjhane lage unnecessary ke baatein karne lage . Par meri mamma ko mujh par believe tha. Kuch time baad mere papa ke lever problem ke wajhe se death ho gayi. Sabhi logo ne iska blame mujhe diya ke tumhari problem ke liya unki death ho gayi itna sab sun kar maine suicide karne ke koshish ke. Sabhi ghar ke logo aur mamma ne sanjhaya aur mein kahi aur shadi karne ke liya maan gayi. Par society mein the baatein bharti hi ja rahi thi. Aisa kuch bhi galat na karne par itna kuch galat ho gaya hai agar mein kishi aur shadi karungi to agar waha par yeh sab pata chalega to kya hoga. Maine kahi bhi shadi karne se mana kar diya. Mein aaj apne papa se bahut pyar karti hu and I miss him a lot. Papa ke hospitalize ke time mamma ko financial need ke liye kishi ne bhi help nahi ki mare mama & massi ne bahut help ke. Tab meri mamma ke apne ki pahchan hui. Kahta hai God ke wish ke bina kuch nahi milta aur jab unki kirpa hoti hai sab kuch unhi ke wish se hota hai. Suddenly meri mamma & massi ne mujh se shadi ke baat ke aur vo humare marriage ke liya maan gayi Court marriage hui & reception party throw ki mamma ka khas relative hi invited the. Tab ise bhi lago ko problem hui ki humhe kyu nahi bulaya beti shadi main. Aaj sab kuch sahi sabi relative & society ke log humare ghar par ate hai acche se baat karte hai. Sab kuch thik hai. Meri & hubby ke puri family haapy hai kishi ko koi problem nahi hai hum sab festival celebrate karte hai. Par itni kushi ke baad bhi mera maan disturb hai ke shayad maine galat kiya , mujhe muslim ladke sa pyar hi nahi karna chiye tha. Maine apne parents ki bahut insult karwayi. Please help……….

Hi Shikha,
First of all welcome to eTI community, you know even by sharing all this here you have actually started to solve your problem, you have even already solved 25% percent of your problem already. It is because if a person is keeping all pain inside then it even hurts more.

Now coming to your question, I will not go in details but keeping it short,the past is past and you should care only for current and future. Start reading some motivational literature and I hope you will find way to peace easily.

Hello Shikha Arora,

Yahoo ne jo kaha sahi kaha hai, ki 25% problem aapki aapne khud hi solve kardi apne dil ke ander jo baat thi usko yahan humse share karke.

Dost agar aap apni poori post ko dobara padhen toh aap khud hi samjh jayengi ki aakhiri line mein aapki problem ka solution chupa huya hai. Jab aap yeh kehti hain ki "shayad maine galat kiya , mujhe muslim ladke sa pyar hi nahi karna chiye tha." bas yahin par aap galat soch rhi hain. Samjhne ki baat sirf itni si hai dost, yeh pyaar badi ajeeb cheez hoti hai.... yeh apne mann-mutabik nahi ki jaa sakti. Pyaar humesha aapko tab hota hai jab aapko uski bilkul zarurat nahi hoti and yeh tab aapse door jata hai jab aapko iski sabse zyada zarurat hoti hai. Kehne ki baat sirf itni si hai dost, agar pyaar karna ya naa karna hum insaanon ke haathon mein hota, toh aaj yeh forum naa bana hota, aaj pyaar mein kisi ka dil naa dukha hota, sab khush hote, koi naa rota hota.

Toh dost ab jab aapko pyaar ho hi gya hai, aapki shaadi ho hi gyi hai toh main sirf itna kehna chahunga ki purani baaton ko lekar pareshan hone ka ab koi matlab nahi hai. Ooparwale ne aap dono ko milwaya hai, yeh uski likhi gyi kismat hai ki aaj aap dono sath main hain, toh uske likhe par sawaal naa uthayein, sirf inn palon ko jeeyein, khsh rahe aur kabhi bhi yeh doubt naa rakhen ki aapne pyaar karke galti ki.

Aaj aap jis situation mein hain ki aapke paas aapka pyaar hai, iss situation mein aane ke liye naa jane kitne log tayar hain. Toh jab aapke paas aaj sab kuch hai toh purani baaton ko dobara soch kar, pareshan hona koi akalmandi ki baaat nahi. Jo ho gya, so ho gya aur mera vishwaas maniye, jo huya achche ke liye huya aur jo hoga achche ke liye hi hoga.

Toh bas itna hi kehna chahenge aapse dost, khush rahiye, inn palon ke maze uthaiye and zindagi ko jitna ho sake, jeene ki koshish kijiye !!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PduFk1Zdgc

Shikha, I think you have everything, you are among those rare people who get chance to live with their real love. You should see positive side of life and enjoy what you have now.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Naveen Arora

Shikha, I think you have everything, you are among those rare people who get chance to live with their real love. You should see positive side of life and enjoy what you have now.

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Thanks to all of u to motivate me moving forward in life.