My anger is enemy of my life (its ruining my married life)

Hi,

I m married with 2 small kids, me & my wife faught so many times & during that time I am not knowing what I am doing while my anger raises many a times I bet her, she used to go to her mom & dad stay for some days they used to calm us & send her back, many a times I tried to convince her that since I have such weekness I requested not to make me angry, not to do anything that makes me angry, but she never supported that further she is also such bad tempered that she will raise against me if somethings she dont like, I lost my parents while I am 5yr old I was raised by my aunt(father's sister), my childhood is such that I had experienced so many incidents & maybe due to that what I am now is I am, I thought after having such a bad experiences in life I would find my life partner who understands me unselfishly & do some sacrifices but unfortunately not that supporting, she is so much possessive & never showed generous attitude towards others. Due to which many of my promises towards her failed now she lost her faith in me, she totally stopped listening me at all & my anger continues, I even requested many times that we shall approach psycriatist for that she says that she never knew before marriage that I am psyco & had she knows about it she would not have married me at all, now I see that my kids (2+ yrs girl, 8months boy) are in dainger that they would come across a similar situation I had experienced. Unfortunately she is not that listening to anyone it is that her own will & wish she has continued her relationship so far with me, I dont want my kids undergo such situation that I had experienced not knowing what to do, presently I am out of job which is more problem creating for us. Please advise

You are mentally fine, issue is not with you or your wife, issue is with your current condition. You mentioned being jobless in the end of the post however, while reading I was already guessing either you have some trouble in your work life or somewhere else.

First of all, whatever happened with you in your past, please forget it. Don't let your past ruin your present and future.

Secondly, anger, being loose temper is more because of one's conditions like finance and relation. In your case best is that for time being stop expecting anything from your wife and work upon your work and improve your situation, it will automatically bring peace and then you will be able to handle it properly.

Your wife is also going through hard situation, if you feel you are loosing temper then just stop talking and stop reacting , no matter what people say. Rather work on important things like improving your work and life.

Hello naga_c,

Its really disappointing to know the situation you are going through. Well, to control your anger there are many therapies which you can practice through some regular consultation. Moreover, try to listen to some religious preaching and deviate your mind for sometime into spiritual world. This is usually relaxing.

Moreover, try to avoid to get involved in any baseless discussions with anyone. Obviously, the problem of you being jobless right now is the main reason behind this mental agony of yours. Relax yourself and practice patience in life. Try to understand, things happen naturally when the time is right. Whatsoever you do, whatever effort you put in, if the time is not right, things will not fall in your way. So, let things happen naturally and kindly don't try to question nature, rather just enjoy it.
Also, try to spend sometime with the person you like the most...which you feel can give you comfort and relax your mind.

I am pretty sure, you will get a good job soon !!

All The Best !!!
Take Care !!!