What should i chose: loving parents or my love?

i m 27 yrs old. mine is a typical Indian problem. in my family all girls got married before they turn 22. i'm the only one allowed due to my studies and I did well. but when the issue of my marriage started, i was getting difficult to find a suitable groom for me. So i decided to seek from other cast. but my father is orthodox n doesn't like it. i liked a boy from the upper cast. We had some opposite opinions, had arguments, sometimes we also had quarrels which took us near the break-up. But still we managed to stick to each other. Now my major concern is my father's health. We are so much attached to each other. He is the perfect role-model of a father. i love him a lot. I had always been the obedient child. but this time, he is against my wish to get married with that boy. but I know that if I keep on waiting for the boy of my father's choice, it'd be very late. but if i go against my father and marry with the boy of my choice,it would affect my father's health. he is suffering from Blood Pressure. I can't understand what to do? I don't want to hurt my father and even want to marry with the boy i chose. What should i do? Even sometimes I feel like to leave the boy and wait. i did this earlier. whenever my marriage was about to get fixed, i felt like running away. I don't know why? this time also if i give a good fight i may be successful in getting my choice. but i'm afraid of father's health. And even the quarrels i had with the boy too loosen my confidence. but still i know, the quarrels we had were common in most of the couples and is not a major issue. but i can't understand why can't i dare to take a step towards the marraige when it is in sight.

Hi There


Your problem of marrying in other caste is yes very much common in love marriages. You want to travel in both the boats at same time which is difficult for obvious reasons but yet not impossible in your case, atleast.

See, the real direct answer to this is just one that is convince your father for your marriage. The aim is very much clear in your eye but how to do it is what perhaps you are not clear about and that is why we are here. Anyways, jumping to your question, nowhere you have mentioned about what's actually happening at the guys end. If your father is not convinced by your words you can try to convince the guy's family first. The motive here is to convince as many people as you can so that your father is somewhat "pressurized" to believe in your decision.

Talk to your man, and ask him if he has initiated a talk about his relationship in his family and if they are agreeing to it. If everything at the guy's end is kay and if his parents is convinced with the bride he's bringing home, then you can introduce his family to yours and let the elders do the talking.

Your father's only worry is to see you happy, isn't it ?? So, if he is not convinced by your words, let him talk to the guy's family and understand that they being good people will keep you happy and secure for the whole life. Once he is convinced with this idea, he will agree to the match.

Moreover, you can talk to your mother too and understand as to why is your father against the match. Try to get the root cause and work on it. If its the caste that's bothering him, then you can open a discussion with him telling him that caste hardly matters and how can he guarantee it to you that if he married you to a guy of your own caste, he will keep you happy?

So, get to know the root cause of his not agreeing to the match and also try to convince the guy's family too. This should help.