Same caste but Boyfriend is younger than me

i am in a relation frm last 5 years. We both are frm same caste. Problems in our marriage are as follows
- he is younger than me. Gap is 2.5 years
- he confronted it to his sisters they refused to support us as they dnt like me.
- if his sisters not going to support us he will not tell about us to his parents coz sisters have their influenc on mothers decsn
- how to agree the sisters first so that they help us. They think i have an attitude problem and m a proudy girl. Which is just a misunderstndg nothing else

2.5 years of age gap is no issue at all but in your case the real issue is your impression upon his family. I feel you are introvert kind of person , if that is true then you have to change yourself atlest for this family. You have not explained how his sister knows you. Are you known already known to his family (not as his love but someone known ?)

I think you 1st you need to remove your rudeness, which you performing by yours misunderstandings. I hope you will be success after that.

Neha, why you think she is rude, does she mention anything about it, why knowing anything about person you can say she is rude ?

we were neighbours earlier when we fall for each other...now we have shifted to another house..but both families are still gud friends.. I always try to behave in a proper way to his family nd specially his sisters.. As i know his sisters are sort of jealous with me... I completely disagree that i am rude.. Infact m a lovable charming and a faithful person... Dont know why his sisters hate me...

As I expected, you are already known to his family. Problem is that you should start praising his sister, in Hindi.. dil khol kar har baat mein uski tareef karo and avoid self-boasting in any case. Is it that you have better complexions than her ?

yeah... Its not self boasting but let me tell yu as compare to his sisters m tall, slim, fair have luvly hairs... I know all household jobs very well.. I cook so well.. Was a brilliant student also... Done job but have resigned now.. I Am favorite of evryone evrywhere.. I try to b friendly wid his sisters.. Always praise them never tell anything which hurt them but still not getting where the prob lies

Then , instead of trying to praise, let her feel she is important for you, give her task , ask her help and let her feel that she helped you and she is better than you.. and also involve her in your activities which you may keep private from her.

whenever i tried to seek for their help they are ready to help.. Infact when they come to my place or whenevr i go to meet them we talk lyk gud friends.... I dint know they are jealous, my BF told me this.. When we meet they sound so gud but in phone both sisters are very harsh nd if it comes to the topic of my relationship they stop chatting nd change the topic.. My BF also tried to convince them but they always refuse to talk on this thing. If he insists they use abusive words for me start cryng nd emotional blackmail..

The problem is that they know you so much and according to them you are not the one they want to have as bride of their brother. It happens, now thing is that it is your guy who can fix things, the truth is that he is the one who knows better than anyone else here how to convince his sister. He need to talk his sister and get to know real things for which they don't like you. He need to ask them indirectly what they find wrong in you and then work upon them. Hope you get my point.. you can't hit a target if you dont' really know it !!

thanks alot.. hope it'll work for me.... Its rakhi now.. so i asked him not to hurt his sisters right now.. I think he shud try to fix things after rakhi... We were forced to break up last week but i cnt resist my urge to b wid him nd he cant leave me alone for cryng... We both luv each other i cant imagine my lyf widout him... According to his sisters we have been separated which we are not actually... Let the Rakhi pass then he will try again to tlk them...I wish evrything will settle down as its my bday next week... We :(

Hello sneha786,

The problem here is not big and let me tell you it can be solved. I don't understand why you both have created a hype about his sisters so much so that you guys have probably forgotten respective families. Firstly you need to change your mindset for his sisters. Let me tell you when it comes to marriage, things like you are more beautiful than they are, you have a lovely hair or you are more educated than they are, hardly matters. The only thing that matters and probably should matter is weather the two involved in the relationship and their respective families are happy and satisfied with each other or not. Being satisfied with each other, however doesnt involve being happy about the facts that one is better than the other or not.

So, right now I would like you to shift your attention from his sisters and concentrate on other ways through which you can make things work out for both of you. But yes, that doesn't mean you change your behavior towards his sister. If you are being sweet and polite to them, continue with the same as it will help you somewhere, may be in the future. But if you feel his sisters are not agreeing to this match, you can very well contact his parents directly.

Also, you can talk about this relationship in your home and tell your parents about the situation. Let them also know whats actually happening between you both. Tell them that you both love each other and are in a relationship with each other for past couple of years. See, basically parents are mature human beings and they can understand whats important in marriage. They will definitely look you both above these parameters on which you feel his sisters are trying to forbid the match.

So, talk to your parents and for a time being don't let sisters dominate your decision to marry him. Also stay friendly with them because importance is liked by everyone.

He feels if he directly talk to his mother than there will no future for both of us because:
1. His mother is strictly against this age gap factor
2. His sisters will have a strong influence on her decision. They dont like me at all and make her mom also hate me

what do i do now.. If i talk to my parents and his parents will not agree then?
Why wud i hurt my parents for nothing :(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sneha786

He feels if he directly talk to his mother than there will no future for both of us because:
1. His mother is strictly against this age gap factor
2. His sisters will have a strong influence on her decision. They dont like me at all and make her mom also hate me

what do i do now.. If i talk to my parents and his parents will not agree then?
Why wud i hurt my parents for nothing :(

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See dear, you are actually presuming things. What I see is, both the families know each other well and there is a finite possibility that her mother might like you. But just because you feel that his sisters will have an influence over his mother's decision, you are actually not giving importance to the person who will be the sole deciding authority. Don't involve sisters into this, I don't think so they will have much say in this. Instead tell your parents about your relationship with your boyfriend and let them take a step forward.
Basically both the families know each other well and so if you tell your family that you both are damn serious about this relationship, I am pretty sure they will take the matter seriously. Parents are mature human beings and they can handle this matter in their own way. Let elders talk maturely and don't spoil your relationship just because some not so experienced, jealous youth brain is involved who thinks just of himself.

Also, what is the guarantee that if his sisters agree to this match, they will 100% be able to convince his mother because his mother is against this age gap thing?? Moreover, even if her mother is convinced, what is the guarantee that your family will have no problem to this relationship?? So, get to know the basic point, sisters are not so much of importance as you are giving them. Instead, talk to elders, tell them about the intensity, seriousness of your love and let them decide your future.

Moreover, you are elder to him so don't expect him to do much things for you. If he will say to his mother that he is in love with a girl who is elder to him, his mother won't take him seriously. But if you tell your parents that you love him and its a decision which has been taken after much thought and consideration, there is a fair possibility that people will take you seriously.
So, in this case you are the one who should take the initiative. Try to convince your parents, tell them that you really really love this guy and you are interested in being with him out of all odds. Wait, be patient and let the parents decide what step they should take next.

There is no point of hurting your parents. Today or tomorrow they will eventually come to know about your relationship. Also, that they are your parents, I don't think so you should feel afraid in telling them as to whats happening in your life. They will be your pillar of support for whole life.