Read good jokes everday. Post your jokes too. Daily Jokes

Psychology student vs law student

A guy asked a girl in a library; “Do you mind if I sit beside you”?

The girl answered with a loud voice; “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT
WITH YOUUU!!!”.
All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the
girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him
“I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?”
The guy responded with a
loud voice: “$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!”
.
.
.
and all the people in the
library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears;
“I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty”

Seriously a very shocking joke. Thanks for sharing, looking forward for more funny things from you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Savera

Seriously a very shocking joke. Thanks for sharing, looking forward for more funny things from you.

---

Yes, there are many more to come. Keep visiting the thread.

Funeral of a cardiologist

This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral...

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he had worked for most of his life. A huge heart, covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm so sorry... I was just thinking of my own funeral… I'm a gynecologist."

The Priest fainted.

One evening at an investment seminar, a man spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die and I'll inherit $200 MILLION."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card...... And three weeks later, she became his .....
:
:
STEPMOTHER!!!!
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.....!

Texting

The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.

The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.

She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:
I'm on the toilet. Please advise.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

How are kids born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"


The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will
need to find out anyway!


Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at
a cyber-cafe.


We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed
to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to
upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later
a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:


"You've Got Male!"

Every woman will love this joke

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress,
and I'm wearing it,'' she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.''

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear. I am wearing it to the grand party the night before the wedding...''

Witty woman

A head-on collision occurred between a man and a woman.
Both emerged from the scene intact while their cars were totally demolished.
The woman said, "This is quite a predicament. We should drink a toast to celebrate this miracle."
The man replied, "What a great idea"
" I just happen to have a bottle with me" said the woman and with this he handed it to the man.
The man downed half the bottle and handed it back.
The woman would not take it back and said, "I think I will wait until after the police arrive to celebrate."

Good sharing but I think you should share one joke each day, posting so many together takes away charm.


I just read last one, don't know if woman was witty or she was just intelligent.