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hi,
i am 20 years old..and a brahmin..i am in love with a guy of similar cast...we both love each other and want to get married..but the problem is that our gotra is same, so his parents are not allowing for this marriage...i am nt conformed about my parents but i'll convince them as i know that my happiness is their first priority.....kindly suggest how should we convince his parents for our marriage?
Hi Akanksha,
According to deeply rooted Indian society's norms and culture, a girl and a guy should marry to each other if they belong to same caste but different gotra. So, this thing generally create problems in marriage.
Moreover, the concerning point is, right now you guys are very young. You have just passed out of teenage period into adolescence. I am really afraid, if your families are thinking about your marriage at this tender age of yours.
So, by this virtue, I believe this isn't the time for you to get worried about anything. You have another 2-3 years before you finally settle down in your life. If I am not mistaken, you guys are still into college or have just passed out and must be looking out for a decent foothold in life.
So, as of now, please stop worrying about marriage complications, like, caste and all. You still have 2-3 years in hand which you should utilize in building your career. People change with time and so does their principles, believes and motives. There is a finite possibility that your respective parent's might change their mindset and perspective with time and become more open-minded and adaptive. What they thinking right now, might not be their priorities later. There is a chance that their thinking might change and instead of considering caste and gotra as their priority, they might consider your happiness more important.
So, my advise to you would be to stop worrying about things now and try to make your respective careers. If you will earn good at the end of the day, caste, gotra and all don't matter then. Concentrate more on your future building that getting married.
Anyways, if above is not the case and if your parents want you to get married soon, then please give us more details on your family background. A lot many things depend on your family's background and the place you belong to because many a times, we are influenced by what people in our surroundings believe.
In any case, you have to ultimately convince your parents for the marriage. Ask your boyfriend to convince them, that he loves you alot and now the caste is also similar. They should not discard the match just because a small thing like gotra is same. Tell them that it hardly matters when two of you are in love and understand each other's needs and respect other's identity. Definitely, marrying you to a person who belong to same caste and of different gotra doesn't guarantee you your happiness.
Talk to them and try to convince them.
Also, please browse through the whole forum to check for similar threads. The advises given there might be helpful in your case as well.
thankyou so much for you concern advise...:) i'll surely contact you if this issue gets complicated further...thanx for your concern..
Yes Akanksha, definitely you can come upto us with your problem.Quote:
Originally Posted by akanksha mishra
nice sharing thankyou so much for you for this amazing
Hii Akanksha,
Sorry for late reply dear,
It seems that you have been explained that the age to which you belong is too young for you to think for marriage and related issues, this is the age where you should first look out for making a bright career, both you guys should first concentrate on your respective careers and settle down as you still have about 4-5 years despair for thinking about marriage issues, you may approach us later with this issue.....
Hello Akanksha,
I agree that you are quite young and MUST focus on your careers, at the same time,since you have interest to marry in the future, you can head towards the right direction from now on(since for some it takes time based on one's birth charts), towards solving the issue of " Same Gothram". Spirituality directs one in the right direction, and DIVINITY can unveil and solve many issues, from same gothram, to mis-matched horoscopes, star-crossed lovers, parental opposition etc etc; basically pujas, prayers to DIVINITY. Do yourselves daily and take the help of those who are well versed in that realm, it can help in ways you think it has been impossible.
Browse below:
http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ds-dr-sky.html
Dr.Sky
(Allopathic doctor, relationship advisor, spiritualist)