Political interest of Husband ruining our love life

hi friends.. iam new to this site.. first of all i wan to thank all the users who have posted thr comments with lot of patience to lot of new friends here.. thr are so many who are struggling with thr problems..thinking the whole day for the solutions..your reply will worth a lot for them..am one of them.. i need some suggestions to which can overcome my problems..
i love my guy very much..our love matured after our marriage..we both love eachother and cant survive even if one fails.. something is unusual between use..killing me day by day..i started hurting my husband..not able to accept his desires towards his carrier..i love him very much and wan him to feel very happy with him..
iam basically from a family who dont even have any interest in politics..bt my hubee has many goals in political life..its his childhood dream.. this is creating lots of problem between us..
please help me to come out of this..

please friends reply me.. iam waitinng for a long time.........

Hello Sandhya7,

First of all thank you so much for appreciating the efforts of all who really take some time out of their busy schedule to answer to problems posted on the forum.
Since you have approached this forum with your problem, I wish you get a good reply here to your queries.

Well coming to your question...... whatever you told about your relationship with your husband makes me believe that you both share a very decent and good relationship with each other. A good relationship demands some level of trust and understanding between the parties involved in it. As you said you belong to a family who never had any political background and never were you interested in politics either, but your husband has this dream about joining politics since childhood that makes you disturb.

See, basically you need to understand that he wants to do something for the society at large and that is why he is aiming at joining politics. Its always nice and appreciable if someone wants to do something for the betterment of his countrymen and society as whole. Moreover, you need to realize that the level Indian politics has reached to a point when it demands new and vibrant people to join it who can actually bring a change in the country. Many individuals nowdays are taking politics as a subject in an aim to join the Indian politics and do good to the country.

So, all in all I guess you shouldn't have any objections if he wants to join politics with a determination of doing something good to the society and bringing a change in the country. You will feel nice if he does something which in actual will make him a hero. There are many political leaders who have done fabulous work in their areas, territories, constituencies and states which makes them an idol for many youngsters.


So, I believe instead of stopping him from joining politics ,you should support his views and efforts and should encourage him to join politics and prove himself to others.

Moreover, in your post you haven't mentioned about what issues do you have with him joining politics. Also, what are the problems that you are indicating at in your question. If you provide me with a complete details of what actually are the issues / problems that are responsible for ruining your life, I guess, I will be able to answer you more precisely.

Pulkit has said everything already, even I need to know what is making you feel bad about politics ? Are you feeling insecure about politics, do you have any bad experience in past related to politics? Politics can be a very bright career option but it has its own complication.

Thanks for your reply.. well let me have an open talk about my relationship... we both are legally married to eachother.. ours is a love marriage, intercaste and inter religion... we married before two years without the knowledge of our parents.. and am sorry to say that i was 19 at that time and my hubee was 25.. i know that the step taken was wrong..but till todayu my man keeps me happy and I have never felt that the decision taken was wrong. He is the perfect man for me and understands more than what I can understand about myself.
Iam a graduate and my engineering degree is getting over by this month.. and am 21 now.. my hubee works in a private concern as technical officer and is a diploma holder.. in my home they were against my love because of the following reasons..
1. my hubee belongs to christianity. And my family purely is devoted to hindhuism. my mom and father also did love marriage against thr entire family before 28 years. my mum was christian and dad hindu. From that stage itself he never gets involved in any of the christian ceremony. He has his own morals and his view towards the christianity and was never good. But the only good thing to be said is, he never forces any one of us to accompany him to temple or to do aarthi and prayers in home. He has never disturbed us. Mum changed all her morals for my dad and leads a hindu life.
2. Our caste are different. But that isn'nt really a problem for my family.
3. my qualification is more than my husbands thus my standard of income will be higher than that of my husband.

these are the reasons for my parents to be against our love. But my hubee's parents have no problem with any of the reasons. they are ready for the marriage and they want our marriage to be done in a grand way as such they have many relatives and friends also in political side.
Both our families are aware of the legal marriage done by us. they came to know before 6 months. From my side they remaind silent and did not ask me anything. And my hubee's side they want us to marry in a church with lots of celebrations.
Now coming to our personal part... WE BOTH ARE READY TO FACE ANY SITUATION, READY TO WAIT TILL MY PARENTS SHOW THR APPROVAL TOWARDS OUR LOVE.. we understand each others feelings and emotions..
Due to some issues in office my hubee has decided to give resignation and he has interest towards politics. his father is a well known person in his area and he wants to follow his fathers attitude towards politics. We both discussed about this many times. He explained me that he is going to start a contract business and will get some tenders. Will put effort in it and come up in life. his passion towards politics will be a kind of part time service.. politics will not ruin the entire profession.. i respect his words.. but i too have some dreams towards my future.. i loving husband going to office in the morning and returning home by evening... taking the lunch prepared by me... never staying away from me even for a single day...etc.,,, for these two years of our married life we stayed in different different places. Every day i dreamed a life that will come soon and will remain of my past of the life till i become a granny..
But now suddenly everything changed... a man starting new business... the issues, the problems, the hard effort, the time, everything my hubee has to face now.. he has to work hard.. he has struggle in this competition world.. i tried to explain him... But his reply was "every man wants to work hard.. everyman wants to struggle and then succeed in his carrier and keep his family happy"...
But his changed routine is killing me.. he has reduced his phone calls.. at first whenever he gets time he use to come and meet me... but now a days he dont even get a thought of coming to me.. he is working hard. i know that as a wife as his life partner i should understand and support him.. but many times now a days i have started to hurt him... i feel as if he is taking too much of care towards his profession and forgetting his love life…
He is working hard for our future but when iam not happy then wats the use of those earnings. I don’t have any knowledge about politics. And know when I see him in taking part in all the political meetings, going behind the leaders like a slave that really disappoints me. I really don’t like such kind of life. Even if the income is less, iam ready to manage the expenditure and will be happy with that.
I don’t know whether my thoughts are right or not… but whatever may be, I NEVER WANT MY HUBEE TO GET HURT, I NEVER WAN HIM TO CONSIDER ME AS A BARRIER TO HIS CARRIER.
Please give me advice whether thr are chances of bringing back my husband to a normal routine life.. if no, then please help me out to get adjust and be a supportive women to my husband.
Note: my hubee is a very kind person who does not even know how to hurt others. He s a very smart guy.. has a good name and fame.. a person who’s words are taken by an entire city.. who involves himself in all sorts of problems to others and gives solutions for them..but till today he has never shown his power to me..never hurt me with harsh words.. In the recent days due to my complaints and my scoldings he became nervous and started losing his temper.
Now he has surrendered himself to me saying that he is ready to do whatever I decide? Continue his job or else move out for business along with politics….
And I replied the same of his choice…business and politics..that was the decision taken from my mind nt from my heart… I need further advice to be stable with the decision taken and keep my hubee happy…

Hello Sandhya7,

Well its nice to know that you both love each other alot and that you are so much considerate about him. It feels good you are behaving like a really kind and matured wife and there is so much that you want to do with him but, you need to understand that love is not just about enjoyment, hanging out, watching movies together, chatting over phone for long hours, going to parties and discos and having a gala time.

If I have to describe love in one word, I would say Love is Responsibility. Now, whatever your husband wants to do in his life is just a part of love and care he has for you. All you need to understand is, unlike females, males have a different way of showing their love for their spouse and this love comes out in form of care and responsibility they take up for their spouse and family. For you being a women, love has a somewhat different meaning ( just like you mentioned : i loving husband going to office in the morning and returning home by evening... taking the lunch prepared by me... never staying away from me even for a single day...etc.,,, ).... but its not the case with males. Usually men have practical approach towards life. They take up love and life as more practical and less emotional and this is what you need to understand.

Moreover, you are still studying and it will take you sometime to settle in the working environment before you actually start to earn well. Also that his family has a political background, make things more easy for him and provides him with a favorable reason of joining politics. So, perhaps in the time you settle in your life and start to earn well, he wants to set his foot in politics so that later both of you are able to manage a good living ( when you have kids and complete family ).

Also, that his idea of joining politics and working there as part time provides a decent point that he is not going to involve in it completely but is attached to it just to earn well. So, I don't think so you should feel disappointed with him joining politics if he promise to service there part time.

Regarding the thing that his love for you will decrease as an when time proceedes, all I say say is it will never happen. He is a man who cares for you , understands you well and this is something that you also accept. So, it makes me believe that his love for you will never end.

Coming to the solution part, you both need to work out on this. Mutual conversation can proof to be helpful here. If you want you can also consider talking to his parents about this and tell them what you actually feel.

The possible solution I can suggest you is... that..you should give him some time, may be a year or two to pursue whatever he ever dreamt for since childhood. Let him join politics and do whatever business he wants to do for a year or two and see if its actually working out well for both of you financially and naturally. If yes, then you might give a try to change your attitude towards love and allow him to continue with his business. But if it fails, you can very well ask him to take up a job as his profession and do what he was initially doing.

I hope I am able to answer your query well.

Thanks a lot friend... Giving time is the only solution for every sort of problem... this is my life, i should not handle it in urgency.. I will surely understand my hubee's interest and the respect which he gives to politics... Within a period of one or two years i will try for a good job, will improve my selfconfidence and also will try to convience my parents for our marriage.. Again i would like to thank you for building up my confidence level...today s my birthday..,iam feeling happy to know wat love really means.. Thanks for for spending your valuable time.. may god bless you for doing these rare services... Take care...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sandhya7

Thanks a lot friend... Giving time is the only solution for every sort of problem... this is my life, i should not handle it in urgency.. I will surely understand my hubee's interest and the respect which he gives to politics... Within a period of one or two years i will try for a good job, will improve my selfconfidence and also will try to convience my parents for our marriage.. Again i would like to thank you for building up my confidence level...today s my birthday..,iam feeling happy to know wat love really means.. Thanks for for spending your valuable time.. may god bless you for doing these rare services... Take care...

---

Sorry for late reply. My net was down. Belated happy birthday to you. Hope you enjoyed well with friends and family.
It really feels nice when you trust me... someone whom you don't know, whom you haven't seen, whom you never heard and try to do what I say. Thank you so much for all these words of appreciation and considering me worth your friendship.

Have a good day !!!

Try understanding the needs of your husband and then try to gather what he requires and if his career is not making him create problems into your life, then its a wrong thing to create problems for him in his life where he is in a career where he dreams for a good future and that too taking you into his dreams as a companion for life time.

_____________________
Love Problem Solution