Confusion in love relation - can't forget my past love and his past

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Originally Posted by zeena

NOOO. I never proposed. Infact he has no clue that i still have the liking for him.
The problem is me. I assume things. Unfortunately , they are right sometimes and not most of the times.
Same here in this situation.
He never cares , its like he s chose his path in life and he s walking his way. And that path , has his past memories and only her in it. Leave my liking for him. Bfore this we were friends . Him and about 5 of us are very close friends , he doesnt even care about any of us. And he s been ignoring me for no reason past few days.One day he s in a good mood, He talks to everybody , randomly teases himself with another friend of ours just to see me get jealous, cals me in the night just to make me laugh and talk randomn stuff and the other day he s in a depression, he doesnt reply to texts and cares about no1. The past three days i v been ill , he dint even send one How ru ? text. NO COMMUNICATION. i dont even know how he is. nor he replies to my texts.Can u blv? I mean i dont get him.But sure does upset me. he s one hard nut to crack. I dont even sit next to him for a minute. And i dont want him to have the slightest doubt that i like him. Cos as it is im losing the best friend in him , i dont want to mess up things. I feel being friends with him and talking to him everyday casually is btr than messing up things/confess my liking and not talking. I have this SURE feeling that he s not interested in involving himself in a relationship with me as he said earlier. so let me respect his words and hide watever i have for him if thats the best which can happen btw the two of us !?

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Hi zenna,
I am extreamly sorry for this late reply. Okay, so again you are doing the same thing as you said in the very first line of your latest comment , that is, assuming things up. Assuming that he doesn't care for you, assuming that he isn't interested in you, assuming that he doesn't love you just because he is not behaving the way you are expecting him to. Dear, understand, he is not God that he will come to know about your feelings for him through some supernatural powers. Before this, he has told you about his feeling for you to which you did reciprocate but later you guys called off the whole thing. Later you felt this emptiness for him and your heart answered to it by telling you that you are actually in love with him.

But, how can you expect him to know your feelings for him without you telling him ?? He is perhaps assuming that you have stopped feeling for him. You proposed him initially but later you called off, so he is actually compelled to think that you don't feel anything for him. Until and unless you tell him that yes, you love him , he will never come to know whats in your heart and he will try to behave as a good friend with you because that is what you actually want him to do. Are you getting what I am saying ??

Again, remember, neither you nor he will ever forget your first love. First love is always a very beautiful experience even if it doesn't works out and it takes years for people to forget this beautiful experience. So, if you think that he will forget his first love that quick and move on, you are actually mistaken. What Nazneen said above is quiet justified. Though his ex-girlfriend was his first love but you have created a special place in his heart for yourself. The big thing is not in being someone's first love, it is in being someone's last love and you both could be for each other.

See, I am not forcing you to get into a relationship with him but all I want to say is, tell him about his feelings for you so that he also stops behaving like a friend to you. If after proposing him again, you feel that things are not working out, you can quit with this relationship anytime. But, just because you don't know what life has in store for you, you got to take some risk here. Things can be really beautiful but they will not be ugly, I promise.

Still if you are unsure, you can take your time and decide onto things. I know you are mature enough to take a wise decision.

Yes, it is the only feeling you can't forget in your all life when you love with someone heartly.

Guest who s here back again ;)
Humph , just wanted to update stuff and give a conclusion to this post .
Well , he s fine , me? yes. Good.
Notexts - no calls - no talkings.
BUT, yeah the feeling is still the same - atleast from my side.
Its been exactly a week since i told him that i still havent gotten over him one bit.
A seven page text page , the reply i received - You'l be fine.
Felt unfortunate to see a reply like that which indirectly told me - Do i even care lady?

And 11 months now. Still thinking about him. Wonder if he even thinks about me for a minute.
I dont know what to call this. Why do i love him so much ? I dont get a pinch of it in return. My friends are fighting with me every day to forget him , move on, search for another guy. Still you know, i have it for him. i cannot go make it happen. This happened to me. From no where.
Its THAT strong. Tried to forget it. but NO. Not happening.

I still havent got a proper reason from him for saying no to me.
Every night before going to bed , i plead myself to get over him , and my heart says yes. The very next day i enter college and look out for him , and to my eyes i find him doing the same from some corner of the courtyard. 5 seconds, i look at those eyes. And i fall for him all over again. this happens everyday. That keeps me going. I dont even know if im imagining all of this.

Guess im meant to be this way ;)

Thanks and good bye guys :)

And grem smith - MOST AMAZING FEELING. Best part , you dont expect anything in return.

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Originally Posted by zeena

Guest who s here back again ;)
Humph , just wanted to update stuff and give a conclusion to this post .
Well , he s fine , me? yes. Good.
Notexts - no calls - no talkings.
BUT, yeah the feeling is still the same - atleast from my side.
Its been exactly a week since i told him that i still havent gotten over him one bit.
A seven page text page , the reply i received - You'l be fine.
Felt unfortunate to see a reply like that which indirectly told me - Do i even care lady?

And 11 months now. Still thinking about him. Wonder if he even thinks about me for a minute.
I dont know what to call this. Why do i love him so much ? I dont get a pinch of it in return. My friends are fighting with me every day to forget him , move on, search for another guy. Still you know, i have it for him. i cannot go make it happen. This happened to me. From no where.
Its THAT strong. Tried to forget it. but NO. Not happening.

I still havent got a proper reason from him for saying no to me.
Every night before going to bed , i plead myself to get over him , and my heart says yes. The very next day i enter college and look out for him , and to my eyes i find him doing the same from some corner of the courtyard. 5 seconds, i look at those eyes. And i fall for him all over again. this happens everyday. That keeps me going. I dont even know if im imagining all of this.

Guess im meant to be this way ;)

Thanks and good bye guys :)

And grem smith - MOST AMAZING FEELING. Best part , you dont expect anything in return.

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Hi zeena,

Welcome Back !!!
Though you didn't ask for a reply but here is a bit I feel worth adding.

Wait for some more time. Since you both study in same school/college so encounters happen to take place often. Once you guys are out of it, you will forget him.
Also, it doesn't matter that you never have the reason of him saying you no. There are 100 reasons a person can give to be in a relationship with the one whom he loves but there is just one reason for not getting in a relationship or not loving i.e. plain No ( I don't want to) and that's how things happen.
He is not answerable to you and neither are you. So, try to stop worrying about it.

Now since its clear he has no intentions of getting into a relationship, better would be, you accept this and move on !!! The thing that you are not trying to move on is the main reason you are not able to forget him. The line where you mentioned you look for him the moment you enter your institute, is what you need to put your control on. Stop it at once !!!

Rest time will do, if you try to co-operate !!!

Hope you start your new life. It was nice to see you back on the forum !!!
Bye and Take Care !!!