Girlfriend wants to come back after betraying once..

Friends I have a question and I'm in real dilemma in life. Hope you guys can help me by giving direction.

I have been with a girl for around 3 years. Our relationship was going real smooth and I had to come to US for work purpose at the end of 2010. After coming to US, her behavior started changing and I came to know that she started an affair with one of her friend's friend. I tried to persuade her not to destroy our relationship, but in vain. And gradually our contact decreased. But we are still in touch via telephone calls once in a while. At the beginning of this year, she called me up and told that she wants to come back to me. And I came to know that she had done registry marriage with that guy without the consent of their parents. Although they were married, they never stayed together and she was in her parents' place. After the marriage, she came to know that the guy was a fraud and hence she wants to get a divorce with the guy. Her parents also know this now and they are trying to get her divorced. The guy is not ready to divorce and hence mutual divorce seems not possible.

Although I really like her till now, I am in a dilemma whether I should accept her back or not. She once betrayed me and I'm having trouble in deciding this.

Any direction?

Hello biswajitdey13,

Your case is a very general problem. Till the time you were with her, near her, by her, she was with you. The moment you went off to US for your work assignment, she left you and got hooked up with someone else. It generally happens in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR).

Well, getting along with her again is completely your say, your decision. All I can advice you is, before you think of accepting her again, you should also talk to her so-called husband. I am not saying whatever she said is all a lie, but you should also consider talking to her husband so as to know what exactly happened and how much true is she in her words. It usually happens, people generally don't tell the complete thing. As I can see from your statements above, whatever she told you was in her favor. There is a finite possibility that she could be wrong and the guy is genuine.

I believe you are still in US and trust me starting a LDR again, will all together be a difficult situation for you. The main thing that will be missing here is the trust factor. Its depends entirely on you, how broadly you and your family accept things. She was married, was with another guy, dumped you once and now returned back to you. What all happened with her in all this time..... how was their relationship.... will there be same love again as it used to be earlier are some of the things that might be concerning you all your life.

Concerning all these things above and thinking a bit practically, if I would have been at your place, I would have rejected the offer because I believe the less the differences are in a relationship, the more better the relationship is.

Honestly advising, you are right now in the US...working there and have a good, settled life. Why get into something that seems to be more complicated and problematic. Move on.... definitely you will get far better options. If a girl can marry without the consent of her parents, have such a complicated relationship status, its better to stay away from her.
I am really sorry to say that, but this is what I feel. Life has changed in past 2 years... and I guess its enough time for you to move on, happily.

Still the last decision is your own. If you feel you love her, can forgive her still and you along with your family can accept her after all this and can think of a good future together, please go ahead.


All The Best !!!
Take Care !!!

Thank you for the honest reply! I expected this kind of not-sugar-coated replies. let's see where in ends.

dump her...She was not with you when you needed her. there's no point being good to everyone.....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by biswajitdey13

Thank you for the honest reply! I expected this kind of not-sugar-coated replies. let's see where in ends.

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Thank You for reciprocating !!!

All The Best !!
Take Care !!!

I think try to investigate more about her and then decide that is she now really need you or she is acting?