In love with boy in neighbourhood and angry parents

respected sir,
i'm a 23 yr old girl in love with a 28 yr old guy.he is my neighbour.
and dis is d biggest issue dat our parents hv d problm vd.my parents r
of d view dat v r lyk brothr n sistr bt of late my mothr hs sm
suspicion abt r relatnshp.his parents r ready 2 accpt d relatnshp if
my parents get cnvincd.anothr issue vch my mothr hs,as indirectly she
hs been telling me smtym ago,he's graduate n nw havng a
well-establishd business vch ws his dad's. bt m a
post-graduate.implying m more qualified academically.vch is no issue
vd me.v r afraid 2 speak 2 my parents.v both r dead against eloping n
getting married.atleast dis was my condition at d tym v got in d
relatnshp coz i cnt let my parents dwn by elopng.i feel dis vl only
lead 2an unhappy lyf 4 evr..bt y is it dat v ought to keep r parents
happy all d tym nt nt think of ourselves?d problm is if i reveal dis 2
my parents at dis moment day vl stop my studies n snatch al my liberty
n keep me in house-arrest..i cnt afford 2 stop my studies at dis vry
moment as it is my last yr of masters.sir please advice wat shud i do
dat my parents r convinced n dat i do not hurt dem...caste is nowhr an
issue as v belong 2 d same caste.neighbourhood n qualification besides
his nt doing smthng on his own n opting for his dad's business r d
issues...kindly suggest..

Hi goldie,


Relationships are never induced or forced upon someone. If you both share a relationship in which you both consider yourself as a couples, then there is absolutely no point in what others consider you guys as.
The one good point is, there is no hard and fast disagreement from your parent's side on caste or other issues. Also, your boyfriend's parents have no issues with this relationship which clearly shows they have accepted it and they might be looking forward to make this relationship happen.

So, I would suggest you to sit tight and keep mum. Let your boyfriend and his family initiate a conversation from their side and ask for your hand from your parents. You are not very much clear about what your parents think about the guy and your clandestine relationship with him, isn't it ? Hence, its better to keep shut for a time being. When the guy's family is somewhat ready, let them initiate a conversation with your family. Later, when this happens, you can then talk to your parents, tell them about your feelings and wishes and convince them for the marriage.

I believe this would be the right and proper approach for you to adopt. Let elders meet and discuss over the matter. Its always a different level of discussion when elders talk because such discussions happen on a serious note and in a mature manner. Digging deep into the situation might have adverse effects and might spoil the whole mood. Your mother might take it otherwise. This could lower her willingness to talk to his family.

All you guys can do is, after you complete with your masters, you both can sit and talk to his parents about it. Tell them about your relationship and your wishes of settling in life as husband-wife. While he can convince them for the marriage, you can convince them for accepting you. When this is done, he can send is family with an offer to your house. Since, you guys are neighbor, I presume, both families are not unknown to each other. So, it won't be difficult to talk on this very matter. His parents can as well talk to your parents indirectly and ask them what plans do they have for your marriage and when they would want their daughter to get married. They can easily gauge what your parents actually want and what their expectations are? Things can then be planned accordingly. But ma'am, I would suggest you to stay out of it and refrain yourself from talking to your parents directly or indirectly on this as of now and let his parents and him do the needful.




I hope I am able to make myself clear in whatever I have written above. Feel difficulty, please comment below.