Hi everyone.im in love with a guy who does nt belong 2 my caste.so parents dont want me to get married to him.my parents are very much interested in a marriage with another guy who s a relative of my mom.This guy knows about my love affair and still wants to marry me.i cant go against my parents and i cant forget my guy.plz help me out.im not able to concentrate in anything
Hi,
Well this is a typical situation and of its own kind.
If you really want to go with your love, your feelings and marry the guy of your choice, you need to clearly communicate it to the new guy in your life. You need to tell him that you are in love with someone else, you belong to someone elseand that you are someone else's property. Make sure to tell him that it will be very difficult for you to leave your boyfriend, kill your feelings, develop your feelings for him again and marry him. You need to tell him that you don't want to marry him because this marriage is just a deal that you would be doing for the sake of perhaps getting married or may be your parents want you to do, but the bitter truth is you can never be his for your complete life, which obviously you wouldn't appreciate.
Present the truth in front of him and I am sure he will understand you. Also, let him know there is nothing wrong with him and if you wouldn't have been committed to him, you would have definitely married to him.
This is a very tough situation, and I know it all too well. You love your parents, but also love your boyfriend. You are stuck in the middle, and it is very painful. However, whatever you decide to do, you should go with what your heart and soul tells you. Only you have the answer to your problems, and you are the only one in control of your life. Think about what you really want. Who are you living for? Do not live for others, because you can't please them. No matter what you do, they will always be unhappy with something. Say you marry this new guy your parents like, is that a guarantee that there will not be any problems with him in the long-run? No it isn't. Nobody knows the future. The most retarded and stupid guy in society that is jobless and failing school can turn out to be the brightest and best husband.
I'll tell you what I think about your parents. They are worried for you, and want you to have the best life possible. They think this is only possible with someone they approve of, because they think they know best for you. This is not true at all, many times parents do not know what their children really need because they do not take the time to really listen to the child. They view the child as irresponsible and immature, and incapable of making important life decisions. Your parents may not tell you this to your face, but it is what they are thinking.
For dealing with this situation, you have to stand up for yourself first. You cannot convince them to allow you to marry someone of your choice if you cannot stand up to them. Sometimes, you need to do more than talking. Ever heard the saying, actions speak louder than words? This holds true in many situations. If they are not willing to really listen to you, then you must be more extreme in your approaches. Only you know what you really want out of life. Nobody can tell you, not your parents, not I, not your boyfriend, nobody. If you think about who you are hurting in the process of getting your dreams, then you will never achieve them. I repeat again, you cannot live life trying to make others happy. It is a losing game!
Life is too long for you to be living depressed wondering what if you did something differently. You have to do what is right for you, nobody else. Do what is right for you. And remember, this is not easy. Following your dreams is never easy, but it's the difference between living dead and living alive