A very complicated breakup- Am I right or wrong ?

hi, so i have a very complicated story to share.
I just moved from my hometown to India at the age of 15, and I started school, i was scared about how people would be but then i met this guy, a senior football player. He liked me and I was told by a lot of people and soon after him and I started dating. He was my sun in the day and moon at night, he was the bestest thing that ever happened to me.
We loved me a lot but a lot of times he took me for granted and each time promised it wouldn't happen again so I let it pass, but it kept happening and i kept keeping my cool. He would ignore me for playing with his games, he wanted to kiss me when I was lying sick in a hospital and get off the oxygen mask, he wanted Finally came the time for college, we were moving to different cities, and we had to now decide if we wanted to try long distance or not. We spoke a lot to each other about it and out friends and decided to do it. He moved to America for college and I stayed back in India. A month in long distance it was ll great, we were good. But then he started telling me how bad it was and how he hated long distance, he wasn't being strong at all. Then came a day when I couldn't take it, after a month of long distance we broke up. I gave it a break for a few weeks and then asked if we could work on it again, he said I should just let him be and stay away, but i didn't I kept trying, he kept turning me down. Agreed I should have just stayed away but I couldn't I was lonely back here and I wanted him, I couldn't just let him go.
I started college on the day of his birthday, I called to wish him, he yelled at me for calling to wish. So then I decided to just move on. I met this guy in college, we've been friends for 7 years and he started listening to me vent about my now ex bf and helping me with college, he loved me and wanted to date me, but i didn't. This college guy asked me out, I didn't say yes or anything. My ex heard of this and called to get back but I told him I wasn't interested and I didn't wanna get back with him. And this college guy cursed at him a little for being so rude to me. My ex kept calling me a slut, and telling me how my parents should be ashamed to have raised me.
I did however move on and date this college guy about 8 months down the line cause I was lonely but not because I wanted to but soon after we broke up cause I didn't feel anything for him. I want my ex back. He wants me too but he can't just accept that I didn't really leave him. He keeps saying I shouldn't have left him, but I didn't leave. I'm right here. What should I do?

Where is your ex now, is he back to India or still living in US ?

He's in India atm for his summer break, but his family is going to move to the US soon

Hello tanvik16,

You have a really complicated problem. Moreover it is difficult to understand it from the way you have written. I read it thrice but I'm sorry to say,I couldn't understand it much. I guess you can write the whole thing again in clear words.

Well, all I could get out of it is, you had a boyfriend who moved to US while you stayed in India and shared a long distance relationship with him. But things got worse after a month and finally you broke up on the point that it was hard for both of you to carry this long distance relationship ( hereafter referred to as, LDR ). After your break up with your boyfriend you tried alot to mend things up but every single effort from you was put down by your ex-boyfriend. It was then when you met a new guy in your college,became friends with him, dated him etc. Things got worse when your ex-boyfriend got to know about this and called to get back but you were not interested. Finally, you broke up with this college guy because you didn't feel anything for him and now you want your ex-boyfriend back. Also, he wants you back too but as you said he cant accept that you didn't really leave him.

Is that all you wanted to say ?? Right ??


See, first thing comes first.... understand that your relationship ( whatsoever, friendship or love affair ) with your college friend has ended and that he matters to you no more. So try to keep him away for a while.
Now lets come to your ex-boyfriend. You both had a rough time so far; sometimes he didn't want to get back to you and sometimes you didn't want him back in your life. But now as you mentioned in your last statement that I want my ex back. He wants me too gives a clear cut indication that you both want to start things afresh but your ex-boyfriend is not ready to accept the fact that you didn't break up. So my honest advice to you would be to talk to him and tell him that you want him back and if he want to be with you, he should try to forget whatever happened with you in the past, forgave you for what all happened or what all you did and try to start things afresh. See, if you both want to be together again as you guys were earlier, you both need to compromise on some issues. You need to tell him that it was he who broke up with you after you both entered a LDR and left you alone in India. You tried alot to make things work out again but every effort from you was put down and this loneliness of yours actually compelled you to get into a relationship with this new guy in your life. But just because your love for your ex-boyfriend didn't die, you finally broke up with your college friend.

You need to make him realize that you have been in love with him all these years while he was studying in America. It was he who was on your mind day and night. The feeling of loneliness he left you with actually resulted in you to getting into a relationship with your college friend but just because your love for your ex-boyfriend was unconditional and pure, things didn't work out between you and your college friend.

Try to talk to him politely and assure him that things like this won't repeat again and that you promise to him to be loyal and committed to him forever again. Moreover, you want him to promise to you for being faithful to you and not to leave you again.See, there its not late to start things afresh with a fresh mind. Forget the past and come up with a mature and understanding relationship in future. It was a pretty bad phase in your life which has ended and I wish you both a good life ahead. Go for it...!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6s5lkKuIEA