Is this flirting or does he really likes or love me(I am about to get Divorce)?

I'm awaiting my Divorce. I recently got a new friend and he was comforting and consoling me to get out of life that iam living. Before the start of friendship, I wanted to make sure it doesnt end up with something else and asked what will he do if he starts liking me or what will he do if i start liking him. This was asked only because, right from the starting he was saying like he likes me as a friend. We became close friends. He took me to movies, malls and was a good friend and companion. He started saying every other day like i look beautiful in every other dress that i wear. When he was out of town, he started saying he misses me and will not be able to see me wearing those beautiful outfits. Many times i used to say he is flirting. He didn't mind. Many days he asked me like he will give me company at home for atleast 2-3 hrs as iam alone at home. He was saying like he wants to see me in those dresses that i dont wear to office. Once he said, I shall lift you and walk all way and massage your legs as you say its paining. I replied i have my dad at home to do that and he cant be talking like that to me. One day he asked me "do you like me?". My answer was I like your height as he is tall. He was avoiding me and i couldnt bare that and told him i feel hard if he doesnt talk to me and he asked me are Have you started liking me? Are we in the wrong route? What if I start liking you? what will happen if we both get physically attracted to each other?

He says iam adamant and dominating and friendship rapport wouldn't set and he doesnt wants to talk to me as he is in a very big problem because of a girl who was his neighbour.

Now we arent talking and iam sending those many mails and messages. He has blocked me everywhere. He is least bothered to respond back. I'm going mad. I loved my husband vary badly but now ready for a Divorce with a very great difficulty. My married life was very painful, dreadful. Now going through a new pain.

Friends could you please help me out? Does this guy like me or is he a flirt?

Well Ma'am going by what you have expressed above, this looks like a clear scenario of two people starting off as friends and eventually that friendship turning into mutual admiration/fondness/likeness of each other.

Accept it or not but U do like him. Precisely why his ignore is bothering you sooo much than a mere close friend turning away and besides I firmly believe that a guy and a girl can always been good friends but when you add "close" to it then things tend to flicker in terms of either of the two developing feelings for the other.

Going by what you have explained with regard to the Guy's behavior, its evident that he was completely into you but whether he genuinely liked you or was just trying to get into your pants (excuse the expression) cannot be clearly determined. However, if at all he Genuinely liked you he wouldn't have just blocked you off from his life main reasons: he did not get what he wanted from u (if u know what i mean) besides mention of a girl neighbor more or less points towards his alleged affair with the female in question.

So at best i on a personal level would suggest you to take an off from dating/looking around or for that matter trying to get in touch with such a guy who now doesn't even want to care about your existence even, and focus on getting yourself together and dealing with the post divorce situation with a stable and balanced state of mind rather than shattered/worried and all over the place kind of attitude.

P.S. Kindly excuse me if there is anything i have written that may have offended you or anyone.

yanou, you have pointed out very true facts here, in addition I would like to add that currently you are going through a process of separation where you need mental support, he came in right time so your affection towards him is completely valid..

Now as pointed by yanau.sun, he may be trying to take advantage of you, you already said that you even discussed about being physical with him..

But here I want to tell you that, when he asked "Do you like him" , you didn't reply clearly, he took it as that you don't really like him and hence for him there is no reason to continue with you and now he is taking extreme step to move away from you to make things clear for him.

Stop texting him, emailing him and wait for a while.. and see being alone never means its end of life, you can get lot more and better people in life.

I do like him as i was in the phase of getting fully separated from the first one. I liked the way he was taking me out of my problems.

I NEVER DISCUSSED ABOUT BEING PHYSICAL WITH HIM. Please correct your sentence. I asked what if we start liking each other. There is a lot many difference. I am not a person looking for physical relationshp.

I even know that this friendship cant turn into a good marriage as there are many criterias which would not go in sync between us.

Yes when he asked "Do you like me?" I said the truth. His reason to move away is, he is into a problem because of his neighbour who is falsely claiming like he cheated her on account of Love issue. So he says he is away from all the friends who are girls, to keep them away from problems and safeguard them.

Please understand that I'm not looking or iam not behind any man.

I loved my husband to the core and things didnt go well between us and i dont want to tell the old story here.

I'm myself not sure if he genuinely liked me or was that just a flirting one. He isn't bothered about me and iam myself shocked. He says I asked you to get away. One reason is iam into big problem and have decided not to talk to any girl anymore and another reason friendship rapport btw us wouldnt work as you are dominating and adamant. I dont understand from where will the dominance and adamant character come into friendship. Friendship is accepting friends as they are.

" His reason to move away is, he is into a problem because of his neighbor who is falsely claiming like he cheated her on account of Love issue. "

It does not take rocket science to figure out why such a scenario would erupt all of a sudden. By and large no girl would want to shout off the roof tops claiming to be cheated (this isn't movie)......everything points towards the fact that the guy in question must have had some kind of involvement with the girl which she might have misconstrued as love. Today "emotional attyachar" kinda thing is very common where people don't think twice before two-three timings (that is the harsh truth).

Distancing himself from U on the pretext of dominance and adamant character is sheer frustration of the guy who wants MORE from you and because you are level headed and is not willing to throw herself away into his hands, he has realized " its not worth pursuing you"

My advice: Just let him GO. If he was genuinely looking for friendship or for that matter courtship he would have stood by u in this turbulent time of yours. Think practically and not emotionally.
Take care.

Thanks for replying back!

The way he moves and talks with girls makes the people to think like he loves. I call that as Flirting. May be that girl might have thought he talks those out of Love.

Wants more from me?? What is that? How am I level headed? Not worth pursuing me, but why? So it was a pure flirting attitude then.

If its physical, iam not a girl of one such kind.

He says he doesnt want to end up in a new problem and wants to stay away.

Hmm..

Dear I am not blaming here that you want to get physical but what if he was thinking that way, here what I conclude that he does like you but he is thinking materialistic and hence he has taken decision to move away from you.. As yanou.sun said, move on and don't make things complicated for yourself.

Good luck ..

I'm still not sure what kind of person he is. He already likes a girl but why such a flirting attitude with me.

He says, "If I had to love then I can love 1000 girls. I need not be answerable to you. I'm into problems and my parents are torturing me. I have decided not to talk to any girls. You understand and clear. Just get away."

I'm not making things complicated for myself. I miss his company very badly and deeply hurt. Nothing else.

Hello newhere,

Well, I have been following this post since its visibility on the forum. I understand what you are feeling right now. You have just passed through a very rotten phase in your life and obviously you would develop those feelings of sincerity and considerations for anybody who would support you in this turmoil. I am not taking this as love because still I don't see love either from your side or his.

Whatever Yahooandyanou.sun said is also true somewhere. I don't see a valid point in his statement that you have quoted above where he said " I'm into problems and my parents are torturing me. I have decided not to talk to any girls."
I am not convinced what has happened all of a sudden that he has stopped talking to girls and how much time will he take to resume talking to girls or will he talk to girls ever or not?? If he is trying to proof to his parents that he doesn't have/never had a girlfriend and he is plainly innocent then naturally he is trying to fool people around, which can be one of the reasons.

I understand he has been supportive and you need his company as a friend as being with him gives you comfort. I realize you weren't, you aren't interested in being with him just for the sake of getting physical and all you want is he or a person like him as a companion in your life to support you, be with you, hold you hard in times of difficulty and a person whom you can speak your heart out.

What you need to understand is, you have just moved out or is trying to move out from your divorce with your husband. There is alot of mess around which needs to be taken care of and its not the time right now to get into a relationship, again. Put things on rest for sometime, concentrate on your post-divorce situations, give yourself sometime to think and plan about the future and try to give a direction to your life now.

Regarding this guy, I don't questions his intentions because obviously, like you, I don't know whats going in his life and in his mind. All I can say is, put him on hold, give him sometime to clear the mess at his side and wait for things to work out in your favor. If he genuinely loved/liked you, he will return back within a limited time frame to ask you for a committed, permanent relationship and if not, you very well know what you got to do with your life.

Right now, don't stop your life because of him. Plan your goals, your future and give a direction to your life. Start working towards it and things like relationship will happen naturally when the time is right and demanding.

Thanks a lot Pulkit! You have understood fully like what I'm going through. "You have just passed through a very rotten phase in your life and obviously you would develop those feelings of sincerity and considerations for anybody who would support you in this turmoil. I am not taking this as love because still I don't see love either from your side or his."

All my thoughts are about him. I don't know what it is? Iam no way physically attracted to him but I started liking him the way he was talking to me to take me out of the problem in what I was. How will I make him understand. Have sent him those many mails, messages but he has blocked me everywhere.

"I understand he has been supportive and you need his company as a friend as being with him gives you comfort. I realize you weren't, you aren't interested in being with him just for the sake of getting physical and all you want is he or a person like him as a companion in your life to support you, be with you, hold you hard in times of difficulty and a person whom you can speak your heart out." You have understood like what is going through in me.

"Regarding this guy, I don't questions his intentions because obviously, like you, I don't know whats going in his life and in his mind. All I can say is, put him on hold, give him sometime to clear the mess at his side and wait for things to work out in your favor. If he genuinely loved/liked you, he will return back within a limited time frame to ask you for a committed, permanent relationship and if not, you very well know what you got to do with your life." For sure he will never be back. He is least bothered about me or what iam going through. I have expressed all my feelings through mails and messages. I really miss him a lot. He doesn't understands and that clearly proves what he wanted from me and I feel bad about it.

Hello newhere,

Don't feel bad for what has happened. The wold is full of people and a person like you definitely deserves alot than what came you way. If you would have visited us before getting into this divorce situation with your husband, we would have loved to help you out retain this marriage because I feel marriages are made in heaven, its we who spoil it.

I don't know what happened at your end that forced you both to go for a divorce but nevertheless, if there is anything we can do now, please let us know. I realize its a very difficult situation for both of you to handle and I wish your husband has the same love and considerations for you, as you have for him.

This forum is for people who are in trouble. Troubles which are difficult to handle, problems which you hesitate to share with anyone.

If you find yourself in any problem at any point of time, I assure you, we are just a click away.

All the Best for your New Life !!!