He me as sister or as friend who can be more than friend ?

I have met a guy on internet dating. &nbsp;It is a great site not just for people wanting to date but also for networking and making friends. &nbsp;I introduced myself to a guy as I have family who are doctors and said he is a doctor wanting to get into a field that I have relatives in. &nbsp;I said on introduction - &nbsp;this site is for people wanting to make friends too. &nbsp;So we chatted for a couple of weeks and he said 'I have made a sister'. &nbsp;I was glad because we do get on really well. &nbsp;A couple of weeks later he wrote in text 'I wish you were a real sister' and I wrote 'me too'.<br>I am a widow so I am very careful about speaking to men as I do not want to introduce men into the children's lives. &nbsp;But my family live far away from us as do my deceased husbands family. &nbsp;So I am on my own to figure this out as they would also get very upset.<br>But as time has gone on I have realised how well we get on and so we decided to meet, again very relaxed and as brother sister. &nbsp; One night I was really cold camping and he wrote in text 'have my warm and generous heart to keep you warm'. &nbsp;It was such a lovely thing to say but I did not want to read to much into that so wrote back thank you, simple.<br>We have met a few times now and he has met the children and they think of him as an uncle and love him very much. &nbsp;He loves them too.<br>My dilemma is that his parents are coming to meet us in about 6 weeks and I just do not know if he likes me more than a sister.<br>A few times he has said he has not had any replies to girls he has chatted to on the dating website and has said he wants someone who is about 5-10 years younger so he can start a family.<br><br>I must admit I am a bit confused on this. &nbsp;He wrote to me 'thank you for your support sis' and I wrote back 'that is what friends are for' and he wrote back 'even sisters.....'<br>I don't know what to do. &nbsp;Is it possible he could like me more than just a sister?<br>Is he just being really careful until we have met his mother and father to make sure they are happy with this?<br>It is a huge step to take on a whole other family and all move into together which is what he wants. &nbsp;<br><br>I feel it is just me that thinks this might be a right relationship. &nbsp;I wonder if anyone can shed light on this and tell me if others have experienced people becoming brother sister relationship until another step might become clear? &nbsp;The more I write this the more I think no i am wrong and he does not see any thing other than sister brother relationship.

Hello Tehzeeb,

Things are pretty simple in your case. It is very clear from his words that he considers you just a sister to him and nothing more. The point where he said "'thank you for your support sis" and to your reply where he said "even sisters...", gives a clear cut indication that you are no more than a sister to him from the way he is taking this relationship.

The doubt is not with him, but you. Perhaps you love him and just because, I am sorry to say, you are widow, you are perhaps developing a liking for him. But you need to understand, a relationship of brother and sister has been defined by him and it won't be justified if you try to think about it in a completely different manner. So my advice to you would be to continue it as and how things are defined and going.

Rest is all upto you both to decide. If you feel too much inclination towards him, you can at least try to confront him with this and talk to him about this perhaps.

Exactly, being guy I also feel same, he has made it pretty clear in all it, you are trying to be friend for him and he is forcing relation to be a sis - bro relation.
What you do, simply starts behaving too much sisterly, never miss a chance to say you are his sister and see how he behaves, if he cuts off then somewhere he sees you more than that or if he starts irritating then again he sees you more than that.. sometimes when people find things going exactly as they want, they want it back them in their previous state.. something like reverse psychology. Do let us know.

And also, Welcome to eTI community, hope to see you around.

Thank you both. That is exactly what I thought. Just have to see how it goes. Might take sometime to see what happens. Thank you.

Well, are you really looking someone in your life then why don't you really start searching for him .

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yahoo

Well, are you really looking someone in your life then why don't you really start searching for him .

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Not sure I understand you.
Yes I have searched. Lucky enough to have found, but if he needs something different then that is what he should find. After he finds someone else and if he does then maybe I will find someone. It is unlikely I find someone else. But I am not passionate person and very traditional so I will continue the way we are.

Hello Tehzeeb,

See the liking you have in your heart for him is obvious. But you cannot force someone to get into a relationship with you, the way you want. A relationship is successful only if it is defined by both the individuals. The guy here considers you as his sister and perhaps, your inclination towards him is the prime reason behind this confusion.

My advice to you would be to continue with what is happening. Be his sister and put things accordingly and as per his wish. Don't experiment with this relationship at least.
If you are looking for someone to be with, a new life partner, a new husband perhaps, then search for someone else...altogether a different person, other than him because shifting from a brother-sister relationship to a husband -wife chemistry would socially, emotionally and spiritually be difficult.

Its really bad to know that you are a widow, but that doesn't mean you cannot live your life again. Search for someone else in your life while keeping this relationship intact. I am pretty sure, you will come across a good life partner. The best way would be to throw an advertisement in matrimonial section of daily newspaper. you might get many offers..go with them after thoughtful research and analysis and spending quality time together.