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Hi,
My name is richa. I m in relationship since past 6 years, i want to marry with my boy friend. but his parents are not agree with our marriage. my parents are agree. i cant live without him as well as he. we want to live with each other. but there is no option. please suggest me how we convince our parents for this marriage.
There are many things which affects a marriage other than caste, what is boy's status, what is your family status in society and also what kind of family boy have ?
Is it Hindu - Muslim marriage case ?
No, it is not hindu muslim marriage. we both are hindu but caste is not same.
we both belong to a middle class family.
Do list all your strong, common & valuable points about your love relationship, better to write in a well-thought out letter than say what comes to one's mind at that point in time; and be nice and good to them while trying to convince.
Do read the previous posts, and perhaps it will be of some help to you.
http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ommitment.html
http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ents-wish.html
Wish u the best,
Dr.Sky
i m agree with court marriage but the guy is not. i ma also agree to send my parents to talk his parents.
he says, he will talk with his parents in next month, and convince them. if they are not agree, then i do marry with other guy. but i dnt want to marry with someone else. please suggest me what should i do.
Dear Richa,
I wasn’t implying a court marriage; to avoid the confusion i will post in its entirety.
To begin with, time and effort from both of you is required. Relationships are quite complex as life and takes time, just as your love relationship took a great deal of time for it to come to a marriage point, you both have to be understanding to your parents and give them TIME to understand your relationship. In the mean time, neither of you should give up easily on your love nor give in to pressure. Some parents tend to test the strength of children’s love relationship; if it doesn’t stand this then how will it stand in the world in the future to come.
And having your parents meet his parents is a nice idea, as long as they realize and be prepared that it can turn out either way, many things can go right and many things can go wrong. So, one should not come to a major decision(of giving up) in just one meeting especially considering the 6 years of relationship. If pride, sentiments and strong emotions of your parents are placed aside, one may be able to pursue the talks even after the first refusal, since some partner’s parents tend to agree after giving them a considerable amount of time and after making a favorable impression to them. Your parents should wait till your guy convinces his parents, unless they are looking for a match for him.
And this is what i had intended for you to know:
6 years of knowing each other is quite long, and sustaining this romantic relationship till now is quite good, and how one should lead this into wedded bliss, there are ways(intellectually and spiritually), if you are willing to follow, then you will believe eventually.
On the visible aspect, you have so far not given any reasons for a strong denial, you both are Hindus(different castes), middle class families. If you want to provide with some other personal details, you may post here or send to my email.
On the invisible aspect, the maya or illusion one has to break through, when there is a deficit or down-slide in the karmic wealth of love and marriage, by getting back to the source of your love, that is God(if you believe), even if you don’t believe in the Creator, follow the rest of the path to the love and marriage(has helped many i know). Each step you take will lead you to a higher step. There is a spiritual side to love and marriage. The path : 1) Have positive belief that this mutual love between both of you will strengthen once again and sustain, if it is meant to be for both of you, it will be with the grace and mercy, but do your part.(2) Since you are a Hindu, you can do the Swayamvara parvathi mantra japa – she is the Goddess for success in love and marriage.(3) Fasting (within your body limits or capabilities, only one meal at a time, or give up meat, ask the guidance of doctor if you have Q; this directs your inner energies to your goal) (4) Positive karma(action), (very important, follow this throughout your life) – You both help as many COUPLES as you can(without interfering in their lives or relationships, women should interact more with women if it is a couple so no misunderstandings arise when approached in person.), singles seeking love and women.(be it money wise, your good advice, buying gifts or household items that the couples may require, especially helping in their time of need / with their necessity, helping at weddings etc etc). You will observe that your life will be transformed and love will eventually lead you to wedded bliss. And then the views, perspectives of people around you, the paths,your maze of life changes, so observe closely. Intensify, multiply and focus upon your actions, if you want to see results more quickly. Start with your friends, family,neighbors or just go to your prayer place and distribute what you can. Has helped many I know(patients,clients, family,friends etc).
Wish you the best,
Dr.Sky
(Allopathic Doctor, Relationship Advisor, Spiritualist)
[email protected]
Thanks for suggestion. i believe in god very much, even my parents also. i have read about the Swayamvara parvathi mantra japa suggest by you. It is good. But i want ask something you about this japa. can i do myself or should be done it by other one(like pandit ji). i can do anything for this marriage. one more thing, in this japa is it necessary that i should do it 1008 times in day??? is it compulsory?? as i m working in office so i dnt have so much time. can i do it 108 times in day?? please suggest me..
Thank you.
Dear Richa,
Doing the japa is good, but to win god's attention, grace and mercy; one has to tame the self and be of service to mankind. And one has to work with their mind or with the intellect also. It is the combination of the intellect,spirituality and the celestial that can help towards achievement of success. Do email me so i may provide you with further details of all.
Dr.Sky
[email protected]
Yes i know there is so much strength in mantra. but my question was if i do it for 108 times in a day or 1008 times. please suggest me.
Thank u
Doing for 1008 times daily is recommended, if you are not able to, then do along with your parents, this way the time is shortened, but total of 1008 times for all. And it is good if a pundit does it also, since the one doing this regularly, has more abilities & capabilities. Even if you get a pundit to do it, you should also do it, as much as you can.
More than just doing this prayer, all prayers are requests; Taming the self is very important prior to doing this. Have an understanding that the opposition or obstacle for your marriage can come through any one, it just so happened that it came through your partner’s parents. Be understanding to their pleas / requests / ambitions for their son’s marriage, to their lack of wisdom or understanding towards your love. Hence Do NOT pour out your sorrows,anger,hatred towards them at any time during this prayer. It is not so much them, it is their weakness impinging on your weakness, this is how illusion works in the world confusing people. One must cleanse oneself of all negative emotions / feelings / thoughts, towards anyone, prior to prayer(not just this prayer, but any prayer).
Need any more details, may contact me,
Wish u best,
Dr.Sky
Thanks for reply. but i live in pg. my parents do not live with me. can u please another mantra as it is difficult for me
Hi richa singh,
In your question that you posted you have said, your boyfriend has yet not discussed the matter with his parents. So, the first step here would be for you is to encourage him to take a step forward and initiate a talk with his parents about your relationship or tell them what actually is happening in his life. If he is feeling afraid to confront his parents, you need to support him and assure him that everything will be fine. Also, don't impose things on him and don't force him to talk to his parents whenever you feel its possible. Rather, give him sometime and let him decide how and when he should initiate a talk in his family.
The positive part here is that your family is in support with both of you. So, if things go wrong, you can ask your parents to talk to his parents and decide your destiny with him.
Okay, now when you say his parents are not agreeing or rather will not agree to your relationship, you need to know what is the actual reason behind them rejecting our proposal. Get in touch with his parents and get to know as to what is wrong and then, perhaps you can work on it to correct it.
Also, you can go through this forum and check out threads with same or related issue. You will be able to get a clear picture of what you should do and what you should not, how you should proceed and how you should not. Also, you can get in touch with the original posters of these threads and ask them as to what is happening in their life and how successful was their relationship. Okay ?
Dear Richa,
It is important to start with something rather than wait to see what fits in your schedule. You have invested time,emotions,effort,dreams into your 6 years of relationship. It is not about having time, but making time to do this or anything else. Your parents need not be living with you, ask your mom, if she is willing to help you, then assign her a number- ex: 500 etc.. to do it daily, and even if she is not able to, you do as much as you can, be it 108 or any multiple of that, as soon as you can do, and find a pundit to do it also. Best to do it with a peaceful and calm mind.
And pray to whom you already believe in and are praying to + pray to what has been the group belief of many before you and whose name infers the success of love and marriage. Do the Parvathi mantra japa as much as you can, that which has been widely accepted & used since ancient times. You can pray to Radha & Krishna or Ram & sita also. In Christianity, Saint Valentine, has poured out his energies by marrying couples and even sacrificed his life for the same sake. These energies or vibrations of the great saints still linger in the universe, fuelled by the positive belief of many devotees. Similarly, it is not just you who will be praying or saying the same mantra, many will be saying it somewhere on this earth along with you, and hence adding to the already existing vibrations. So, the wishing well has already been constructed for love & marriage , all one has to do is make a wish(when one makes a wish, wish for the best of both partners love & life and for both the families happiness) and throw a coin(your prayer energies & positive karmic action).
And it is important to work on all planes or levels: 1) the visible/ earthly / intellectual plane – communicating,pleasing, convincing, pacifying the individuals involved & related to the relationship (2) spiritual/karmic plane – pouring out love or positive actions into the universe by helping COUPLES, singles seeking love , women & elderly (3) celestial / ethereal / divine plane –placing your trust and praying / requesting, visiting holy places where positive energy fields are noted and where miracles happen (even scientific proof exists.).
And the easiest , fastest and less expensive way of doing karmic action for couples is cooking or buying food or sweets and distributing. Make your wish and give to all without excluding anyone(give to all, couples are bound to be there), appearing in your midst; be it in your family, friends,neighbors, workplace or at your prayer place. The best part about the prayer place is that you can make frequent visits, and do this on a regular basis as often as you can. So start your karmic therapy today and do it as frequently as possible till you see the results and even afterwards. By doing this, it changes the energies / aura of an individual and even if the communication should slow down or come to a dead-end, the way opens for you through the blessings of the couples & people. And by serving humanity, even the divinity in you & in this universe will appear to you in some form or manner. It is important to do today & tomorrow & everyday and not wait for the weekend , your free-time or leisure time, since obstacles or negative energies have a cascading or consecutive effects.
And do heed the advice of all those who are associating to help, in this forum; and all the universal knowledge that has been provided to humanity for their benefit.
For those of you who are of different religions – pray to whom you already believe in plus pray to the couple saints or gods / goddesses and those whose name is associated with love and marriage be it in your religion or otherwise.
Wish you success in love,
Bye,
Dr.Sky
I am very much confused. I don't understand my & my bf's parents will agree for our intercast marriage or not . I want to wait i want to try atleast at once . But i don't know it will work or not. Because if in the future our parents will not agree for our marriage at that time it will very difficult for me to let go. So I'm confused . Should i wait and try or should i let the things go right now only....
Plzzzzzzzz help me