Hello abhishek14,
If she has said that she cannot promise you to go out with you on New Year, she means it. I am actually not getting what she wants from you. Somewhere she says, she want you to ignore her and leave her and on the other hand she , herself is not letting you to ignore her. Its somewhat a double play kind of a thing.

If she really want you to ignore her and dont think about her, she should have kept herself at a safe distance from you but she is not doing anything like that. So in a way, she is acting really confusing.

Now, all you can do is, wait for 31st to come and then ask her on the same day in the morning if she could take some time out with you. If she agrees, go with her to some place where there is some silence and privacy. I actually want her to live these moments with you only. Dont take her to any movie theater or any place where her half of the attention is on other things and not on you. Grab her total attention at you. These moments will only be helpful later. And yess, giving her a gift is always a good idea. Purchase something which can remind her of you whenever she sees it or uses it, for example, a good smelling perfume or a dress. That is it I can advice to you right now.

All The Best..!!!
Take Care...!!

Hi, Pulkit
I think now you have understood my situation. She REALLY IS CONFUSING. U know what happened yesterday, when we took a walk, she made a plan to go for the movie saying that she also wants to go somewhere, now today she is saying, "I was just telling a lie about going out. Sorry! I can't go."
I mean I just don't understand why she does these double kind of things? Is she just playing with me. Or is it that she also likes me but there is something that stops her every time she comes close to me. It happens all the time, in every 3-4 days when we become kind of attached, she starts behaving odd, like she wants to run away..like she wants to be with me but at the same time does not want to allow herself to be with me.

I am in a total confusion, at times I think to leave the job and go somewhere far....But....

And as far as the gift is concerned, I don't think that she will accept a dress or anything like that. Because before one week, I gifted her a very small teddy, she took it after I insisted a lot, saying that she doesn't like taking gifts. Although she was very happy after taking that and even picked up my call that day and said Thank u to me for that.

So what do u think now my friend ?? I am in a total confusion. Please discuss with your friends or anyone who can help, but please help me getting out from this.. I mean at least she should clear, she is just taking me as a friend OR she does not want to be with me in any way OR she has something in her heart OR there is something else..but why she acts some times as a good friend, some times as she wants to completely ignore me and sometimes as if she is my girlfriend..
Kahi aisa to nahi that she is just filling any kind of gap of her life with me. I mean when she is okay, she ignores me, and when she feels lonely, she talks to me....if this is so.. how to know?
But one thing is sure that she CARES for me. But is bound with something that is not letting her show her emotions..whether they r positive emotions or negative emotions.

Thanks again My friend!
Take Care..

Hi abhishek14,

Basically what you thinking could be true. But I am not very sure and also I would advice you not to take it in a negative sense and back off.
The thing is right now just because you are near her, caring for her, loving her, she is rather PERHAPS taking you for granted. Once, I feel, if you go out of her life she will miss your presence and that would be the time when you can strike again. But by that time comes, I want you to make a place for yourself in her heart, which ofcourse will take sometime. If something is stopping her from accepting you, that can only be sorted out, provided she tells you that particular reason.

See, try to understand, you have got some time to spend with her. Even if she doesnt become yours, atleast live these moments with her. Meanwhile, also keep on trying to arouse these feelings of love in her heart. You never know when things will fall in your place.

Ohk, regarding the gift, the best thing that I can advice you to do is.... give her the gift and if she refuses to accept it, just keep it in her hands and tell her that you cannot take it back. Also tell her, if she cant accept the gift she is free to throw it away but you will not take it back at any cost. Trust me, she will accept it and wont throw it ever. ;-)

Dear friend, dont loose your hopes. It is just these "hopes and dreams " that set we humans apart from animals and nature. So dont loose your hopes. Just wait for things to happen naturally.

All The Best..!!!
Happy New Year...!!
Take Care..!!!

Hello Pulkit, What u r saying is true. I am also hoping a lot from this New Year. I don't know how and why, but she told me somethings yesterday. She said, "I am really fed up with my life. I don't know what to do." When I asked what happened, she replied, "Actually I have many proposals, some of them r my friends, some of them r just acquaintances and some r unknown. everyone just keeps calling and keeps saying that he loves me a lot and this and that. I have been so much annoyed of all this. If I talk to anyone nicely, they become obsessed and aggressive. I don't know how to get rid of it. And one of them is my good friend. But he also says very strange things like He will get me anyhow and he will get me kidnapped and so on.. That's why I always keep on saying that my life has become worst. I am not just that kind of girl. I just don't know what to do." Is it a good sign that she is sharing her past and other things on her own, when she wants. And a Happy New Year to you also My Friend !! Keep Smiling, Stay Happy.. Take Care..

Hello abhishek14,

So you see there lies the problem. She is not sure if you are true with your feelings or not. She is treating you equally with others. Its good that she is frank enough with you to tell you about her problem but that doesn't mean, that you are the only one whom she has told everything. There can be others but atleast the good thing is, she told.

So now you know what you gotta do. She believes in love but she is confused as whom to choose her partner. Try to win her confidence and trust and she will be yours. Also, make her feel secure that if she accepts you as her partner, you can handle her good friend who is threatening her for kidnapping and all.

Your problem is now partially solved. Now its upto you to try your level best to win her trust and confidence and make her yours. It will take sometime but all you need to have is patience. :-)

All The Best...!!!
Cheers....!!!

Hello Pulkit,

I'll do the same as you say my friend. Now I am focusing on keeping her happy rather than talking to her about my love. There is one more thing I want to tell you.
Actually we 2 days ago we were talking about all those issues with her. I was saying, "That friend of yours is dumb, does he not know that he can only kidnap your body but not your heart like this. And when we love someone, it is not necessary that person should be always with you physically or anything like that. All that matters is the happiness of that person. When You love someone, all u want is to see that person Happy." I was saying this, suddenly she said in between, "But in my family, I have to marry a boy within the same community." (Here I want to remind u that we are from the same religion but different communities.)
I replied, "This is not mandatory." She said, "But In my family, I will be married in the same community." Then I said, "Actually that does not matter that much. Because parents also want to see their children happy. If they are sure that a guy can keep you good and happy, I think that they will allow you happily." On this she said, "Okay! Why we are talking on this topic. Talk about anything else please."

Can you guess anything from this?

Wishing you a great Year ahead my friend..
Take Care ..

Hi abhishek14,

See if community is the problem with her you got to tell her just one thing.... that is..... tell her if she really loves you, she should tell you truly and honestly and rest regarding community and caste conflicts.... you will take care of it. Ask her not to worry. You just need a yes from her and for rest you are capable enough to tackle the things when the time is right and demanding. But if you, yourself are not sure whether she's interested in you, you cannot do anything. Atleast she should say a yes and mean it...rest will be handled. Tell her that you love her and you will give a damn best of your efforts to make her yours. You are just waiting for her approval.... if she says a yes to you..half the battle is won and rest half you can do it.

Come on friend, be a man, its not just community problem that next lined up for you, there are others too. Make her belief that you can do it. Prove your worth to her yaar. Tell her that you are not like other guys who have proposed her.... you sincerely mean it and will if she is destined to be yours, you will not leave any stone unturned to make that happen. Only thing stopping you right now is her approval of you. Come on....!!!! Have confidence.

Thanks for the wishes. Same to you and your girl. I wish you guys be together.
Take Care...!!!

Hello Pulkit,

Thanks, Thanks a lot for these words my dear friend.
I really needed these wishes and you just made me smile, enthusiastic and confident by saying all that. One more thing, Although she did not meet me on New Year as she said that she had some family program but I bought a gift for her, she denied but I said the exact words u suggested, She accepted and with a smile she said, "Next time I'll really throw, if u buy anything for me. okay!"

Thanks again my friend..
Wishing u happiness..
Take Care..

Hello abhishek14 ,

Yeah, this thing always works....!!!! But Shhh... its not for everyone to tell...!!! ;-)
Next time dont buy anything for her, make something for her... and if she says thats she will throw it...remind her of her words...that she will only throw the gift if you buy anything for her...not make...!!! I hope you got the difference...!!! See these little things only work...that actually bring a smile on other's face...!!! But give her a gift only when its needed i.e. on some occasion. Till then ......... enjoy

Thank you for your wishes. They are always needed.

All The Best...!!!
Take Care..!!!

Hi Pulkit,
First of all, congrats on being eMOTM.

And now my old problem.. U know my friend, I think she will NEVER love me. I have done everything I could, to make her understand her importance in my life, but i don't think that she will ever understand me. Today I am really sad. All my efforts have failed. Let me tell u what I have been doing all this time that I could not even talk to u..

I told u that she was leaving her job. She got an offer for a new job. The new place is a little far, I mean it takes around one hour from her place to her new office. She has never traveled alone before. So I took the leave from my office and went with her for her interview. Although I did not like that place, but as the offer was good she accepted.
I knew that she can not travel alone so I QUIT my job and I have been coming with her in the morning and going back with her in the evening Daily from 17 days. This is my daily routine from 17 days. I get up early, get ready, go to her home, come to her office with her, then whole day I kill my time walking here n there or sitting in the park etc. In starting two days she came down to take lunch with me, but not after that. Then in the evening I meet her outside her office, travel to her home with her, then go back to my home. The whole time I treat her as a princess.
Her family members know that I go with her daily, she has lied to them that I have also joined there. But still she does not treat me even as a friend, she ignores me, But now I don't have much strength left my friend..

This feeling of being 'unwanted' is killing me now and I don't know for how long I can continue with all this. One of my friends said to me, "What u r doing is madness. A person needs a lot of intensity in his relationship to do these things. U left your job, New job offers r there but u r not joining because u are very much concerned for her safety and care. I know u love her so much. And I know she will not get a loving person as u. I don't know she loves u or not, but believe me, SHE IS TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED NOW. SHE IS NOT WORTH ALL THIS LOVE IF SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND IT. You r the only son of ur parents, so plz save yourself and LEAVE her."
Is he saying right ??

And my condition is really worst now brother, I don't know what to do or what more I can do. I mean I am totally broken and shattered today. She gives attention to strangers but not to me. It's like I don't exist for her..

Today I feel that if she can not understand my feeling after all this then she will never understand my feelings.
My heart is just going through Hell now a days, Plz Get me out of it.... I just beg u to suggest me something to get me out of this.
Plz Save Me My Friend..!!

This is madness and nothing more and remember girls do love people who care for them but they don't like mad either. I hope my words makes sense to you.

What I can understand that she doesn't want to be in relation with you but because you are trying so hard, now she is simply trying to pretend as there is no interest for you and eventually you will give up.

Leave that girl for 1 week and see how it comes.

Originally Posted by Sonam Rathee

This is madness and nothing more and remember girls do love people who care for them but they don't like mad either. I hope my words makes sense to you.

What I can understand that she doesn't want to be in relation with you but because you are trying so hard, now she is simply trying to pretend as there is no interest for you and eventually you will give up.

Leave that girl for 1 week and see how it comes.

Thanks a lot for replying Sonam,
But if she doesn't like me, why she enjoys her time with me, why she tries to make me happy when I am sad. Three days before I told her that I will not come with her anymore now. Since then why she is saying, "yes, by this you will get rid of me, okay don't come. I can come alone. I respect your decision." And now when she knows that I'll not be going with her anymore, why she told me today that she is also going to quit her job. I mean she is always saying that there are no possibilities for us in the future, but why at the same time she says, "But we never know the destiny." I think she is confused and she is just not sure even with herself that she likes me or not. OR She is just playing with me. Coz she knows that I'm just crazy for her, I will do everything for her.
I don't know why but I just can't admit that she is that cruel, because she is really very sweet.
Well I don't know anything but I am not just being able to depart her from my heart.........and I don't know what to do and how to do..

But thanks again....
Wishing you happiness..

Originally Posted by abhishek14

Hi Pulkit,
First of all, congrats on being eMOTM.

And now my old problem.. U know my friend, I think she will NEVER love me. I have done everything I could, to make her understand her importance in my life, but i don't think that she will ever understand me. Today I am really sad. All my efforts have failed. Let me tell u what I have been doing all this time that I could not even talk to u..

I told u that she was leaving her job. She got an offer for a new job. The new place is a little far, I mean it takes around one hour from her place to her new office. She has never traveled alone before. So I took the leave from my office and went with her for her interview. Although I did not like that place, but as the offer was good she accepted.
I knew that she can not travel alone so I QUIT my job and I have been coming with her in the morning and going back with her in the evening Daily from 17 days. This is my daily routine from 17 days. I get up early, get ready, go to her home, come to her office with her, then whole day I kill my time walking here n there or sitting in the park etc. In starting two days she came down to take lunch with me, but not after that. Then in the evening I meet her outside her office, travel to her home with her, then go back to my home. The whole time I treat her as a princess.
Her family members know that I go with her daily, she has lied to them that I have also joined there. But still she does not treat me even as a friend, she ignores me, But now I don't have much strength left my friend..

This feeling of being 'unwanted' is killing me now and I don't know for how long I can continue with all this. One of my friends said to me, "What u r doing is madness. A person needs a lot of intensity in his relationship to do these things. U left your job, New job offers r there but u r not joining because u are very much concerned for her safety and care. I know u love her so much. And I know she will not get a loving person as u. I don't know she loves u or not, but believe me, SHE IS TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED NOW. SHE IS NOT WORTH ALL THIS LOVE IF SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND IT. You r the only son of ur parents, so plz save yourself and LEAVE her."
Is he saying right ??

And my condition is really worst now brother, I don't know what to do or what more I can do. I mean I am totally broken and shattered today. She gives attention to strangers but not to me. It's like I don't exist for her..

Today I feel that if she can not understand my feeling after all this then she will never understand my feelings.
My heart is just going through Hell now a days, Plz Get me out of it.... I just beg u to suggest me something to get me out of this.
Plz Save Me My Friend..!!

Hello abhishek14,
Sir forst of all get a job for yourself.

Look brother.... NOW THIS IS THE END.
You have done alot for her and now immediately leave everything. If she cant get the intensity of your love, leave her right away. Sometimes its needed that you leave the people around you just to see who gives you importance.

Now, only one thing to do. Last thing for this relationship.
Today go to her, talk to her......... PROPOSE her for the last time. Tell her its the last time you are asking for her... if its a " yes" ( on the spot ) well and good. If its again a " no " ...... dude seriously leave her and promise to me and to yourself also that you will NEVER again go up to her and meet her .

Abhishek, I am really stunned by what you have done but certainly I salute you and your efforts to get your love. Its okay yaar.... sometimes you try alot to make things work out your way, to make other people yours.... but life isnt that simple. Luck is something that matters alot. Perhaps she is not destined to be yours..... perhaps life has got someone much much better than her waiting for you and certainly life doesnt wants that get into this relationship with her and thats why things are not working out.

Abhishek, loving someone and fighting to get your love is good. Its shows how much you are concerned for the other person. But lets get real, nobody is or rather could be important to you, than you yourself and your own parents and family. I seriously, seriously recommend you to get a job first. Dont spoil your life for her. She, I guess, doesnt even bother a little about your condition, your mental tension and life you are living right now.
If this is the case now, I dont thing so she will be able to make up with you even after marriage. If she has no cares, it means you matter nothing to her and therefore she shouldnt matter to you anymore.

Sir, I am really really sorry for what all happened with you in past few days. I would have seriously refrained you from leaving your job. this is something you should not have been done, but now its all over.

Sir, make it a point on future, live a life for yourself first and then for others. Love yourself before and more than you love anyone.

In case if you want to speak to me, here is my contact number. I will be available to you after 8PM. I hope that time suits you al well. My number is : 09889740670

Last but not the least. Just two words to say which actually mean alot : MOVE ON !!!!
Enjoy your life, forget her, try to forget the time you had spent with her and promise to yourself that you wont ever try to contact her or meet her after today.
You have your own self esteem, your own life and your own family, parents. Dont waste your time. Do your responsibility and just end everything now. Your friend was right. He wants your good will. So stop everything right now and get a job first. That should be your priority.

I am really sorry I couldn't help you get her !!!!


Life hurts, feelings fade. We want everything to stay the same, but people change and sometimes all you can do is, hold your head up high, blink the tears away and say " hmmm.... its Life " !!!

Sir get a job immediately.

Take care...!!!!

Thanks a lot my friend for replying. I was waiting for your reply. and thanks for giving me your contact number also, Now i am gonna bother u with my calls.

And please don't say sorry for anything..
Rest I'll talk on phone.

Thanks again !!
Wish u happiness..

Originally Posted by abhishek14

Thanks a lot my friend for replying. I was waiting for your reply. and thanks for giving me your contact number also, Now i am gonna bother u with my calls.

And please don't say sorry for anything..
Rest I'll talk on phone.

Thanks again !!
Wish u happiness..

Ya sure abhishek...definitely you can call me up. Even you can call me right now !!!