I will try to keep it short but it will still be few lines

I had a very bad breakup of relationship one year ago and it was complete break of trust and so i never trusted anyone. I met a guy while on holiday in india and we were in contact for few months as friends (at that time he was breaking with his GF as she wanted to leave him) , I did not know much of what was going on but it was always nice to talk to him, in last 2 months I have visited him in delhi twice and I have realised that I am totally in love with him, he feels the same but i think my level on this has gone very high that all i can do is think of him (its a long distance relationship now)

Problem: I got scared that this relationship will break at some point as I am divorced and not willing to get married or anything and he obviously lives at distance and he may choose someone obviously one day..all understood and I am scared of hurt it will cause me if i carry on this relationship for long time so now after 2 months of being into him every day every hour and all the love I asked for few days of break and no communication so I can get on with my life and start getting use to everything without him. He is also due to visit me later in the month so i thought i will do this until he gets here and by then I will be over this too much love thing. its fourth day today and i have been miserable for all these days, slightly better in resisting for sure but not very good and what is troubling me the most is that he did not even once tried to call or message me..

QUESTION: should he have messaged me at least once considering i was the one asking for few days?

Hello urgentadvice,

Its okay for you to be calculative and manipulative in your love because you just had a break up and you have been through a rotten phase of life. But, the thing here is, I believe you are manipulative too much on this, so much so that its actually not required.

See, understand one thing, if you are trying to love a person after considerable and manipulations calculations then let me tell you you will never find love and you will never be satisfied with what you'll get in life. Its okay to think and love but too much thinking can ruin a relationship and I am sure you will agree with the point that Love cannot be done after too much calculations and thinking.
If your heart is saying that you are in love with that person, if you are not able to live without him and things are getting miserable then I feel you should not stop yourself from accepting the things happening at your end.

You are trying to get expect too much out of your relationship. Try to love a person without any expectations. If he is the one meant to be with you, he will love you for his entire life. But if you start expecting from your love, then definitely it will be heart breaking if he rejects your proposal.

Moreover, taking a break from him and trying to avoid any contacts is not the solution to this problem. You cannot stop your heart from loving a person. Its just like you cannot stop yourself from coughing. Similarly your affection for someone comes out automatically when you are with him/her.

Also, I would like to tell you, your last relationship is your past now. You cannot judge everyone on the same grounds. Whatever happened with you, how much you were hurt actually has no connection with the things happening with you right now. If you'll continue to judge every individual on the same grounds, you will never be able to satisfy yourself on one. So, try to move on from your past and accept the things happening with you now.

Further, things are working with you as he also feels the same for you. So, I believe there is no point in stopping yourself to get into a new relationship when you are getting love from the other end also. All you can do is talk to him and tell him whatever you feel, tell him how insecure you feel and what all things bother you. If he is understanding and in true love with you, he will understand your situation and will try to work out accordingly.

So, there is just one advice for you, Don't think too much and love. If love is knocking at your door, kindly open the door and embrace it. If you still feel that insecurity and fear, talk about this to your lover and let him know everything because there should not be any doubt in your mind before you enter in your new relationship.

I wish you Luck !!!

I was waiting for Pulkit to respond here and it was worth, whatever he said is very true.
Furthermore, just stop expecting anything and live the to full.. along with love.