my name is siva sankari. i am from tamilnadu in south india. i have only one sister 5 years younger to me.my sister is deaf and dump i.e she cant able to hear and speak. my father died when we are young. my mother only look after us. i got married before 5 years, my husband is a nice man. i went to my husband house after marriage. i lived in a joint family with my husband's father, mother, brother and his sister. two years before my mother died. at her last breadth she asked me promise for looking after my sister. i also agreed. then i bring sister to my husband's house. my husband also agreed. after some month my mother in law started scolding me and asked me leave my sister in orphanage or marry to someone.then i started looking after bridegroom but nobody come foreward to marry my sister. oneday my relatives came to my home and we discussed about my sister's life. they suggested me that there only better way for my sister is to be married to my husband itself. they told then mother in law will scold you and also you can take care of your sister. they also told these kind of marriages are coomon in our community and nobody can take care of your deaf and dump sister better than myself. i got shocked. they then told your sister is now in late 30's , you should understood that she also have sex feelings. so its the better way. when i consulted this with my sister, she also agreed with a cry. after that i understood about her feelings. i consult with my husband's family. they also agreed happily. but i not consult with my husband. can i go with this?another information is i am also not having child for past 5 years... this is also one of the reasons.

Hi Siva Sankari,

Legally polygamy is not allowed in Hindu family as per India law, so even you get your sister married to your husband, it will not be a legal marriage. Secondly, you said it is also because you are still expecting child, are you sure it is not problem with your husband, if he has the problem then he can't conceive you your sister either.

Also, you will have to face lots of mental pressure througout your life ie. the feeling of sharing husband, just think about it before going into all this.

my husband has no problem. i have the problem. i am getting treatment for the past 4 years.

Hello sivasankari1988,

I don't see any valid point in getting your sister marry your own husband. Firstly, it won't be a leegal marriage as Yahoo said. Secondly, marrying her to your own husband just for the sake of taking care or satisfying her sexual desires is what I don't see a fancy idea. See, everything depends on how you take it and how your husband will take it. If he is confortable with this and considers it okay, you can go with it. Moreover you need to ask yourself too... will you be comfortable with the point that your sister is getting equal imporatnce from your husband as you are. Everything depends on you.

This is one thing that you can do. Second could be, refer the matter to your husband and ask him to talk to your mother in law for keeping your sister with you. May be he can make his mother understand that your sister is a human being and she also has the rights to live and that you cannot keep her away from you as she has nobody else to take care of her. You can also search for some organizations or nursing homes where disables are given jobs or are put into some or the other work.

See, doing this might be difficult but there are alot of NGO working in this direction to help the needfulls. So, you can go for one such organization. This will help her live her life, come out of her regular sad and silent life and involve in someor the other creative activities.

Hey, thats a serious issue, so what you have decided ?

i want to take care of my sister till my last breadth. i also have consulted with my husband. after my serious explanation and my pressure made my husband agree. i also asked my husband to take care of my sister as the same love and affection he had shown to me. he has agreed.

Ofcourse your husband will surely agree to that as by agreeing to you it will have a bonus option for him.
sorry if you find something roude but it is better for your advice

I Think the situation is very tough for your sister as she cant explain what she wants and not. You better ask her in good manner and have no pressure. Your husband is nice guy he can do whatever you will say to him. You better leave this decision to your sister as its a decision of her life.