Hi friends, This is Ishi from Mumbai. I am a 25 yrs old girl working in an MNC. I was in a relationship with a guy from the same caste for past 6 yrs now. He was my classmate and now we work in the same company. We had a very good and understanding relation from the beginning. He is younger to be by 8 months and he always told me he has no problem with that and he loves me to the core. We were happy with each other, went out, had fun and there is no place where we dint go. Few situations became so intimate that we were committed physically, i was never comfortable but he use to kiss me on my forehead, look into my eyes and say trust me i can never leave your hand in life. I trusted. We were so much into each other that we could not breakup every after few fights on off. In the 1st yr of our relation, he tried to move close to his schoolmate and he told me that she proposed him. Though i was hurt i told him i can move on if he loves her. He told that he loves me and cannot live without me. He told he would never contact her, i made sure he never contacted her again in life. Our lives were happy. I helped him in getting a job and then made arrangements to join my company. Slowly things changed when i started to ask him for marriage. I did tell my parents, he also told his parents that he would marry me and no one else. My parents agreed and its been 2 yrs now. His parents are said a NO based on my looks (i am obese) and horoscope concerns. He started getting irritated when i kept asking if he has tried to convince his parents. His response were never +ve which frustrated. I tried all possible ways to keep the relationship alive but he says that he is a looser and has to breakup. When he said breakup and i tried hard to convince him, he tried to convince me which i could not take. I had suicidal thoughts and expressed the same to him. One day i told him that it would be my last msg and tried to commit suicide. He immediately called my parents and told to run home. My parents were shook obviously. My dad asked me to go and marry in arya samaj as me living somewhere is important that dying like this. I was so disturbed. I told him same and apologised to commit a suicide (as he hates me talking about death) but he said its all over and he has taken enough pain. I knew he was very angry on me so went back to him after 5 days and apologised to him and he straight away told me NO for this relation. I knelt down to my knees and asked him one chance but he dint change his mind. After 10 days at night 10 pm i went near his house with trembling legs and told him that living without him for me in hell and he said enough is enough, dont make a scene here go home. I was hurt by his answer, so walked away. He told he would call my dad if i dint go back home directly. He spoke to an auto guy and asked him to drop me home. I was broken. I was tuff for me to move on. I again felt living giving up this life as i am a looser. Common friends kept telling me to move on but never think he doesn't care for you or love you. He is doing it for his parents as he is the only son. I wanted to give it another chance so msg'd him after a month. He spoke well but said that he cant promise or give me hope because his parents are not accepting. He has no problem in me talking to them and trying to convince them for our marriage (how can i do this being a girl and when his parents dont like me as i dont look good as he told me). I told him i will give a try but asked if he will hold my hand and be with me as a moral support for which he says i have no answer. i cant give you hope. Fighting this out is getting very difficult for me and i ignored all friends in these 6 yrs of life with him and now i have no friends to share with. I asked him to help me in seeing a doctor (psychiatrist) We both cried over phone thinking what is happening in our life. He asked me if i will be fine and normal if he talks to me for which i said i need medical support as i am not having food, sleep, mental pressure is high, resigned my job etc. He took me to the doctor yesterday and the doctor trying to tell us that there is a chance for you both to still fight for the relation as your parents might take time to accept and he also told forgetting is not very difficult. This guy has taken the 2nd point that forgetting is not very difficult. He took me for a lunch and tried to hold my hand n hug me when i was crying. But he says that he is not able to do anything. I am so confused not understanding if he wants me or not. When i clearly asked him the same he says i have no answer. I asked him why did he spoil my life by building all the trust and the physical relation etc and he says i spoiled my life by not able to convince my parents. I am so depressed.
I have few questions guys, atleast you people answer to me without saying i don't know or i have no answer.
1. What should i do now? Move on???? If so how??
2. What about the physical relation i had with him? i feel so guilty?
3. Can i marry someone else with this burden in heart? How can i be happy with the other man?
Pleasee guys help me out i have a broken wing :'(
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