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Urgent Help required : Hindu Boy and Christian Girl love marriage

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  1. #1
    boy12
    boy12 is offline Just in!

    Post Urgent Help required : Hindu Boy and Christian Girl love marriage

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    Friends.
    Intercaste, Hindu boy and Christian girl.
    Both employed good job.
    Recently 2 weeks back told parents about our love.
    In girls family, as usual not agreeing. And now she is not calling or smsing me..no contacts.
    Today her uncle called me and told me in a good way to split each other as her family not supporting intercaste marriage.
    I agreed everything and said Okay. After some time I called back and asked him" Uncle you told intercaste is the problem for us . i can convert to Christianity, then could we live together?" He told hw will discuss and let me know. I dont know what the answer would be. If negative , then how should i proceed to get my love back? and if he will tells negative result then what should i talk him ?
    and one more , she is not talking wit me now a days, what can be her problem? how can i get her back? I need her.

    " I hate this society for these things, I WANT TO CHANGE THIS" Before death can i do atleast this to reform our society to some extent atleast..

    HELP me with your advices friends..I have no other person to help me...

  2. #2
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hi boy12,


    Well, yes marriages in intercaste has always been, is and will always be a problem until GenX, people like you, take the world. There are people who still live this myth that marrying in same caste is better and fruitful than marrying in the other caste.

    You have taken a good step confronting her uncle by agreeing on changing your religion for your love and if that happens, it will prove to be a revolutionary step. I just hope her parents get to learn alot about casteism and true love from your this step. I really admire you for this.

    Few points to detail here, First, instead of speaking to her uncle, try to speak to her father or mother who has the authority of taking decisions and/or who has a considerable say in the family decisions. Fathers are generally adamant in these cases. If you can establish a direct contact with her mother or meet her in person to explain things up, that might prove to be a good decent step. I am saying this because mother is a person who has a considerable say in family decisions and is complete blend of emotions and practicality. You can easily win her confidence by mixing up emotions, feelings with reality.

    Second, taking the step of changing your region for your love is itself a huge step and I would request you to take it after careful considerations of your family and friends. I understand love for your girl matter to you alot, but changing your religion for someone might bring negative response from your immediate near and dear ones. So, double think on it before implementing and talk about this to your family too.

    Third, if your side is okay with the match, its time when you can put your parents forward to talk to her family about the proposal. Sometimes, it happens that girl's parents are not convinced by the guy, but soon they meet his family and are convinced that their child is in safe hands, they eventually agree to the proposal. So, you can consider this as your next move, perhaps.

    Fourth, if your girl is not talking to you, don't panic because she is either being forced/monitored or right now in dilemma about her future with you. All you can do is write a long mail to her explaining everything you are trying to do from your end. Also, let her know you are not going to give up so soon and will try your level best to get her. Make her realize that your love for her is beyond every limit and that you will over pass every obstacle that come your way. But to make your and her's dream come true, you need her to stand by you , support you emotionally and encourage you for moving forward. Explain her if she is not going to tell you what's happening at her end, what discussions are going on in her family considering this, it would be very difficult for you to do anything in her favor. So, she should call you, text you or mail you her and her family's current situation.

    Try considering the above points. I am sure you will come up with something in your favor.
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


  3. #3
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hi boy12,


    Well, yes marriages in intercaste has always been, is and will always be a problem until GenX, people like you, take the world. There are people who still live this myth that marrying in same caste is better and fruitful than marrying in the other caste.

    You have taken a good step confronting her uncle by agreeing on changing your religion for your love and if that happens, it will prove to be a revolutionary step. I just hope her parents get to learn alot about casteism and true love from your this step. I really admire you for this.

    Few points to detail here, First, instead of speaking to her uncle, try to speak to her father or mother who has the authority of taking decisions and/or who has a considerable say in the family decisions. Fathers are generally adamant in these cases. If you can establish a direct contact with her mother or meet her in person to explain things up, that might prove to be a good decent step. I am saying this because mother is a person who has a considerable say in family decisions and is complete blend of emotions and practicality. You can easily win her confidence by mixing up emotions, feelings with reality.

    Second, taking the step of changing your region for your love is itself a huge step and I would request you to take it after careful considerations of your family and friends. I understand love for your girl matter to you alot, but changing your religion for someone might bring negative response from your immediate near and dear ones. So, double think on it before implementing and talk about this to your family too.

    Third, if your side is okay with the match, its time when you can put your parents forward to talk to her family about the proposal. Sometimes, it happens that girl's parents are not convinced by the guy, but soon they meet his family and are convinced that their child is in safe hands, they eventually agree to the proposal. So, you can consider this as your next move, perhaps.

    Fourth, if your girl is not talking to you, don't panic because she is either being forced/monitored or right now in dilemma about her future with you. All you can do is write a long mail to her explaining everything you are trying to do from your end. Also, let her know you are not going to give up so soon and will try your level best to get her. Make her realize that your love for her is beyond every limit and that you will over pass every obstacle that come your way. But to make your and her's dream come true, you need her to stand by you , support you emotionally and encourage you for moving forward. Explain her if she is not going to tell you what's happening at her end, what discussions are going on in her family considering this, it would be very difficult for you to do anything in her favor. So, she should call you, text you or mail you her and her family's current situation.

    Try considering the above points. I am sure you will come up with something in your favor.
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


  4. #4
    boy12
    boy12 is offline Just in!
    not reqd...she today told me that she is stopping all these for her famly. her mother told dat she would suicide and she got panic. She stopd everythng. And today her uncle called me that her family is not interested to marry their daughter to me. I told okay. GET LOST. Any suggestions from your side.
    I HATE GOD also........

  5. #5
    Aarish Rizvi's Avatar
    Aarish Rizvi
    Aarish Rizvi is offline eTI Bronze
    Pulkit already explained very nicely, nothing more to say here.
    But I will add that your girl is very decent girl and I can see how hard it would be for her to take decision to END this all. All I can say that you should have patience and understand that you can't always get what you desire. First of all if his uncle called you, you have not done any disrespect to him. Simply hating God is not the solution, may be he has better plan for you. Think about situation of girl, her parents are everything for her and they are not understanding her, well seriously they should understand the level of sacrifice their girl is doing for them but clearly they can't !

    I think you should not let your girl to stop everything because time changes so fast , just be in touch with her and ask her that if there is ever any hope then let you know.

  6. #6
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Quote Originally Posted by boy12 View Post
    not reqd...she today told me that she is stopping all these for her famly. her mother told dat she would suicide and she got panic. She stopd everythng. And today her uncle called me that her family is not interested to marry their daughter to me. I told okay. GET LOST. Any suggestions from your side.
    I HATE GOD also........
    Hi,
    Well getting lost and hating God is definitely not a solution as Aarish said. You should not loose hope right now for times changes very fast. Realize the topic is hot right now at her house and any form of communication from your side might put both of you in soup. My advice to you would be to wait and hang on for sometime. If her family is wanting you to cease every contact with her, do it right now for a month or so. Later, after sometime has passed, try to meet her uncle in person and request him to do something for you. Just see if he can help you out with your relationship, but ofcourse not right now, a bit later. Let the whole thing cool down for sometime and let her parents realize that everything is over. Later you can again start everything afresh, targeting her uncle this time and melting him emotionally.

    See every parent want their child to be happy and secure with the person he/she is married. If you are able to provide them with this level of security, then you are done. Convincing parents is very hard but 90% of the thing is done if you are able to convince them for the marriage. So, wait for a little, give sometime for things to settle down and then we can start afresh.

    Meanwhile, you should inform your parents too about your relationship with your girl so that they don't create a problem if the girl's side agrees in future. Don't panic, just relax. Also just drop a mail to your girl saying that you will not leave her and you will also let nothing wrong happen to her mother too. Just console her so that she doesn't break down emotionally. Its really important for her to maintain her cool in this and not get terrified by what her mother intends to do.

    By now you must have understood, her mother is a weak link here. Its her mother who is not ready to compromise and is the problem creator. So our target is her mother, basically. Also please let me know her uncle is her Maternal uncle or Paternal uncle. If he is her Maternal uncle, then it he might prove to be helpful a bit more.

    But right now,hold up and wait for things to change !!!
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


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  8. #7
    boy12
    boy12 is offline Just in!
    dear friends...Thank you very much 4 supporting me..actually u ppl r helping me so much..tanx 100 tons..as u said, i wil wait 4 smtym..hope all gud things happen..ur reply really consoled me..tanx...i knw she loves me still, me too.....

  9. #8
    Aarish Rizvi's Avatar
    Aarish Rizvi
    Aarish Rizvi is offline eTI Bronze
    We are glad it helps you, hope to see you around and if you ever need help, let us know.

  10. #9
    drsky
    drsky is offline eTI Iron

  11. #10
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Quote Originally Posted by boy12 View Post
    dear friends...Thank you very much 4 supporting me..actually u ppl r helping me so much..tanx 100 tons..as u said, i wil wait 4 smtym..hope all gud things happen..ur reply really consoled me..tanx...i knw she loves me still, me too.....
    Hi boy12,

    We are glad to help you out. Just want to say practice patience !!!
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


  12. #11
    boy12
    boy12 is offline Just in!
    hi friends...she and me statrted talking each other again...she is in double mind now...sm times she wants me sm tyms she tells to stop everythng..but she really wants to marry me ... how to proceed now..or do we maintain patience for some time..if so aftr sm tme wat should we do..how we will proceed further....pls help

  13. #12
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Quote Originally Posted by boy12 View Post
    hi friends...she and me statrted talking each other again...she is in double mind now...sm times she wants me sm tyms she tells to stop everythng..but she really wants to marry me ... how to proceed now..or do we maintain patience for some time..if so aftr sm tme wat should we do..how we will proceed further....pls help
    Hi boy12,


    Well, its a good sign as of now. By now you must have realized how difficult the situation could get. Do talk to her but control your emotions too. Don't get carried away by whatever comes your way, instead, think and act. Continue with your relationship as things are going. Wait for sometime till things settle down a bit. Later you can contact her uncle and talk to him and make him understand your word.
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


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