Can't keep boyfriend and family both happy ?

Unregistered · 05-17-2013, 08:28 PM

I and my boyfriend have an age difference of 4 years..we love each other very much..In the beginning my parents were supporting me but due to some communiction problem they dont like the guy anymore..They want me to get away from him and concentrate on my studies. I had asked my boyfriend to talk to his parents but he is reluctant to do so. He has two siblings elder than him an he wants to wait 2yrs till they are married. bUT MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO CONVINCE HIM AND HIS PARENTS FOR atleast an engagement...
I am being churned by all of their expectations...what shall i do?Shall i leave my love for my parents? Cant i keep both of them happy?

05-18-2013, 10:18 PM

Dear Friend,

Well there is nothing that you can actually do in this case until and unless your boyfriend initiates a talk in his house, in his family regarding his relationship with you. I believe he is reluctant in confronting his parents just because of his parent's views on love. If I am not mistaken, he belongs to a family where people don't encourage a love marriage. This might be a reason for him not being able to gather enough courage to face his family members.

Well, now what you got to do is, encourage him, support him for talking to his elder siblings, if not parents. Understand, elder siblings must be from the same age group as you and he and which is why they might understand his word correctly. Tell him that if he didn't do it in near future, he will loose you because though you are in love and you owe your life to him, but you cannot let him just play with your life like this, putting you on hold and later if he doesn't succeed in convincing his parents, bid you good bye with an apology.

Tell him that you love him alot and dream to spend your life with him but there is a limit upto which you can stretch yourself and beyond that it will be hurting for both of you. So, if he really cares, he should start thinking about it.

I hope he will understand you !!

05-21-2013, 05:38 PM

You are always bang on Pulkit, I totally agree with your last statements, that there is always a limit for everything also to wait for somebody, apart from it waiting for you boyfriend for two years also does not make a surety that you boyfriend will be ready to talk to his parents for the marriage after his siblings get married as he is not ready to do it now, said that, if he really loves you, he should be ready to talk to his parents and atleast do an engagement with you so that your future might get secured atleast, what if he bids a good bye with an apology in future, neither he nor you can play with your life, if he really loves you, he should have the courage to talk to his family about you and your relationship.
Yes, again as Pulkit said, you should support him, encourage him to talk to his siblings (Which I too suppose belong to your age group with not much of age difference) because they will definitely understand your situation and will support you and your bf for marriage, but make sure he atleast gathers courage to talk to his siblings and gain their support first, if he still insists to continue whatever is going, I fear that he will be reluctant in future too for putting his feeling forward to his parents, and then you may be helpless in future too, because at this point your parents are supporting your relationship, but after seeing the boys lack of confidence and courage to speak to his parents, they might not support your relationship anymore, because no father would want her daughter to get married to a coward who does not have a courage to talk to his parents for his right and love........

Can't keep boyfriend and family both happy ?

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Can't keep boyfriend and family both happy ?

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