hi pulkit,
i m very much sure he still loves me a lot but when he comes to knw that i m taking it for granted and gonna request him to marry me i dont what will be his decision, i m sure he will hate me he will do all those things that will hurt me

Originally Posted by sathiyashree

hi pulkit,
i m very much sure he still loves me a lot but when he comes to knw that i m taking it for granted and gonna request him to marry me i dont what will be his decision, i m sure he will hate me he will do all those things that will hurt me

Hi Priya,

Nobody is asking him to marry you. I just want him to atleast nod his head in a ' Yes' when his parents ask him about his affair with you?

Saying a yes and staying true to his feelings, that what we expect of him. He should not say No if tomorrow his father ask him that whether he likes you or not?

Suppose, tomorrow when his friend exchange words with his parents about your relationship, he should just accept everything and not deny, because of the fear of his parents committing suicide.

After all that has happened, ideally, his parents should realize their strict behavior towards their children's needs is wrong approach to parenting. You boyfriend could also elope and marry you, but if he is not doing it, that means he pays respect to his parents. In a return, his parents should also, if nothing more, atleast listen to him once.

hi pulkit
my boy's parents are so innocent, my boy's brother just informed to my boy that he is having affair, my boy too told him to wait till their sister getting married but after that without even discussing to his parents he just decided to elope and marry and he did so...in his sister case she just chosen a pair who is not at all match for her and to her family...that guy not educated, dnt have any status in the society...also that guy is demanding asset through her to my boy means then what's his intension of marrrying my boy's sister just to take away assets knw? after all this incidents my boy's grand pa in a angry state of mind told my boy's parents to die since they are left with no more image in the society..my boy's neighbour house idiots keep on gossiping like their parents are not good that made their children do like this etc etc...this are all certain things hurted my boy very much...after all tihs i dont knw how i will convince him...

Hi priya,

Do you have any update to share with us?

Hi Pulkit,
I dont have anything interesting to share pulkit, every day i spend every secs with hope that he will be back to normal and atleast he will spend sometime to consider me.....i stopped to force him at all the time pulkit...it doesnt mean that i m planning to give him up but instead i m realizing how selfish i m to force him all the time without even considering his situation.i stopped asking him to marry me, but instead i keep asking him that talk to me be normal to me i wont ask u to marry me....not often but sometimes he is so good to me...but still i want him to marry me but dont knw how to make it possible....i cant spend a day without talking to him but his busy schedule and home construction work makes him stay away from my thought...he also advices me to concentrate on something else so that i too will stay away from his thought but dont want such things to happen to me...in my home they started searching for alliance when i tell him about it there is no reaction from him...

hi pulkit,
Am i doing mistake by not forcing him? what do u feel about it...

Originally Posted by sathiyashree

hi pulkit,
Am i doing mistake by not forcing him? what do u feel about it...

Hi priya,



What else can you do? See, no son would ever hurt his parent's feelings and emotions for his love or for any girl, for that matter. I am saying this in a scenario where the guy is somewhat sure that he will be able to convince his parents. But, in your case, chances are even steeper and your boyfriend has declared everything.

I guess, it's a very long time since any advancements have happened in your case. Nor has he ever changed his mind or thought process. Even if, in a remorse possibility, both his siblings return to the parents, still he will never be able to convince them for marriage. Are you understanding the point?

All this time, all this wait was just to see if he changes his mind, if he gets weak emotionally, if he is able to re-consider his decision and request once...at least once from his parents to get him married to you. But, nothing as such happened. Right?

Instead, he keeps on forcing you to forget him and move on, which clearly means, he is no more into you with what he used to be. He may still be in love with you, but, I don't think he will ever be able to take a stand in your case.... even if things improve.

I'm really sorry, but consider this case gone.

See generally what happens is, sometimes, we get confused or disturbed by our surroundings and events in our life that do not work in our favor. When a situation like this comes, our instant reaction is to save our loved ones. That is what he did as an spontaneous reaction. He told you to leave him and move on, primarily, because at that very time he was too afraid with the turn of events that occurred in his life. These kinds of reactions are spontaneous and we just say it without thinking.
But, if given time to re-think, people generally change. Afterall who would like to break all ties with his loved ones just because of a fear. Instead, he would device a way to fight back all the fears. But, nothing like that seems happening in your case.

He has finally given up on you and is no more in any mood to give it a try also.

Had I been at his situation, I would have thought otherwise to device a way to solve this problem and not just end everything.

So, as far as my suggestion goes, it's time when you should really consider his words and try to move ahead in life. I personally don't see any hope in this and I wouldn't like to give you a false hope.
I can understand how bad and bitter these words are on you right now. But, I guess, it's time. Move ahead, it's not the end of life.

Hi Pulkit, I understand what you are trying to say pulkit, but i m not a machine knw to change my entire feelings to someone else...all the things that has happened in his life has made him stay strong in his decision.the strong rapot in his mind to live for his parents desire and to face the society has made him stay strong in his decision to forget me...but my side! i have done nothing than loving, caring and dying for him all the time...he is so kind to me all the time but when it comes to marriage he turns out sooo bursting...he loves me pulkit, who will care him as i did, who will take care of his parents as i desire to do, who will love me as my boy does...he is my life knw, he is my career knw...how do i consider someone else in the place of my boy!

Hi priya,

I can very well understand how disgusting you must be feeling. The life has taken a U-Turn on you. I was expecting him to calm down, think and take a wise decision that should be in your favor. But, all these months, nothing that we expected, nothing that we wanted, happen. Now, you cannot just live your life in a hope that someday things will change when you too have accepted the fact that nothing has changed... not even one percent.

Regarding love, I still say he loves you and feels for you, but marriage with him certainly looks difficult to happen.
Priya, we are just human beings and there are limitations to what we can do. Each and everything is framed already and you just cannot change it. Who would have expected such an unpredictable turn in your love story? But it happened, right ?

All that we can do is just try tomake things work out our way, try to get our love, try to have everything that we wish to have.... but do we ever make 100% of it ? No, we don't get everything that we wish for, dear.

Always remember there's a reason, a justified reason behind everything that happens. Positive or negative, everything happens for something good.

If things are going to work, they will work eventually. But if they dont, be assured its for some better reason. May be, not you, but some other girl will keep him more happy, safe and secure.
Similarly, for you too, its not the end of road. There's alot for you to see in life. I am sure, you'll definitely find someone equally good as your boyfriend, who will keep you happy.

That's life and this is how it happens dear. We cant do anything other than accepting this fact.

As a friend, as a mentor, companion, loveguru or with whatever name you would call me, it's my duty to bring you out of any false hope and make you stand face-to-face with reality.

hi pulkit,
I feel really hard to accept someone else will care him love him keep him happy more than me...it makes me cry...i still love him, i still show my love and affection in the same way as i did earlier though he hurts me with silence...he is not silent to me all the time he is kind to me sometimes...that makes me still believe that one day he will tell that he cant forget me and still considers to marry me...all i want to happen is he should marry me or marry someone else before such things happens to me...if he is ready to consider someone else in his life na then i am thrown away from his life know? i am not at all ready to think someone else in my life but if he marries someone means then i should accept the fact that he is not mine anymore know?

Hi priya,

Please don't cry dear. See, we tried our level best. I gave you all the possibilities that could have existed. But, this point that your mutual friend has made, is somewhere really valid - what if everything works out, your parents agree to the marriage, but he himself denies it owing to his parent's discomfort towards Love Marriage? There could have been many ways in which you both could have happily married to each other. But, if he is not ready for the marriage, then how can things happen.

I am not saying that the Love has gone, its still there. I also believe that if you both are destined to be together, then nobody on earth can stop it from happening. But, just looking at the present scenario, it looks like he has decided to finish it off and there's no hope or he is just not willing to get married or perhaps he's too much afraid.

If I had been at your place, then at this point, I would have silently moved out of his life. Yes, I would have always carried the love and feelings along, but may be not the person.
And that's what I guess is the best thing to do. Being with him, is putting him into a lot of mental stress and pressure. At least you can do your bit of releasing him from any responsibilities, guilt, bonds, emotional distress from your end.


Dear, it will take sometime for you to move out of this phase and it;s gonna be very slow, but eventually it will happen. There are many many people around with broken dreams and emotional breakdowns, but life doesn't stop for anyone, right? Involve yourself in some work of your interest, hobbies etc to deviate your mind from him.

Get in touch with some NGO that works on underprivileged kids. Show your love and affection to them, and I guarantee you won't ever feel sad in life. Bring smile to others.

hi pulkit
dont convince me pulkit,nothing has changed, my belief on him too havent changed...i still have hope, one day he will tell me he cant forget me...he will tell me he wants to marry me....

Originally Posted by sathiyashree

hi pulkit
dont convince me pulkit,nothing has changed, my belief on him too havent changed...i still have hope, one day he will tell me he cant forget me...he will tell me he wants to marry me....

Hi priya,


Great. If that happens, I would be the first person to feel really really happy about you. Trust me.

Its your life and its totally upto you, how you take it. You may be right in all that you have said, because you know him, I dont. I only tell you things based on what you write here. There's nothing more than this that I know. But yes, there's something I would really like to say about you.... I am a part of this forum for past few years. I have seen many people posting their problems and seeking advice. But hardly a few follow up as you did. This thread had maximum number of posts from you and me. This is really a very awesome thing. All these posts, all these replies, discussions everything that we had, shows how worried and how concerned you're for your relationship. I really appreciate your efforts and your love for your boyfriend. I mean, this is true love. I really admire you for this.

I really really wish that you both get along together. Its very rare to see such a beautiful relationship happen. And, what else to say, I wish every boy should get a wife like you.

Hi Pulkit,
Yesterday my boy told me that in his home they have got a alliance for him, but my boy is not ready to accept any alliance for now also she is elder than my boy...though my boy points that his grand pa is not ready to listen to him, his grand pa says like its hard to get any alliance for u after all that happened so whatever it is u should accept her like...he is doing emotional blackmail.. my boy worries a lot..no one is there to listen to him..when i ask him that am i not better one when compared to that elder women he starts again like dont talk like that dont put my family again in trouble...etc etc...i m really worried pulkit...i was trying to contact his friend but i cant catch him at all...i dont want him to marry any other than me...but if he is not ready to listen to me at all atleast i dont want him to marry that women i very well know really he wont be happy...how dare they can do this to my boy...what shall i do

hi pulkit,
things are really getting worse on my side...my boys parents and his grand pa are not at all concerned about my boys willingness to marry that girl..they have just decided and and almost in the state to confirm her.. i am really getting mad....somehow i could able to contact his friend, but he too keeps telling me to change myself...no one is there to help me...i am really getting mad