Hi,
I'm not an Indian gal but fall in love with an Indian boy. He was my customer, and we kept in touch with each other after both of us left the former work. Then I found I graudally fall in love with him, and told him last year, he didn't refuse me and even said I'm his girlfriend.

To contiune our love, I went to India three months back. We had perfect 9 days together. He loves me too. He said we can't be together although I could do everything for him.
He's catholic,while I have no religion. I know that religion is really a problem in India, so I'm arrage to be catholic, and will receive baptism in this Dec.
He also said his marrige will be arranged by his family.
Is it really difficulty for an Indian to find his life partner by himself?
I really love him. After left India, I always find I can't live without him.
Could anyone give me some suggestion? What can I do to persuade him to strive for our future happiness with me together?

Well first of all you will have to find out weather he also loves you that much and is really serious about u.. IF he is serious and really in love with you first you have to convince him for getting married to you.. once he is convinced and he dont have guts to talk to his parents you take and initiative and show a promising attitude to convince his parents tht you would be the best gal for him and his family..

I am sure if your ready to do so much from him his parents will never refuse your love.

All the best Dear.

Let me know if you need any other help here in india.

Thanks Sunidhi. I'm not sure whether he loves me so much as I love him. I think he is pretty realistic, so he holds his emotion and hopes to play safe. I think his worries are , the cultural differences, it's hard for me to find a job in India, and then religions and his family.

I really want to convince him for making efforts with me , but I don't know how to persuade him. I drafted a letter to him, haven't sent off coz I'm not sure if it's appropriate.

I believe that all the barriers could be overcome by our efforts. But how to encourage his confidence and be positive? No idea...

See sometimes and for some families, culture and religions are really serious matters. Above all, children are supposed to value wish of their parents. We feel hurt if we somehow hurt our parents, it can be also by going against them.

But also, parents are forgiving too, sometimes all it need is to ask parents, though they may be against but for happiness of their wards, they accepts.

First of all ask that guy whether he has ever asked his parents about you or not ! Rest depends this answer.

Thanks Ricky.

I'm afraid he never mentioned me to his parents.

I still think the key point should be he has to own the belief like mine.
Is it really a problem for an Indian marry a foreigner? Now he even doesn't dare to face the problem.

It must be a tough process for us being together. How to make him believe that we will have a bright future?

Is he willing to ask his parents ?

May be ask him to get general views of his parents for such relations if he is not asking directly.

It is not really a problem for Indian to marry a foreigner, there are cases around and are mostly successful.

Maybe I should try to ask him to do so. But have to wait another few days since I haven't persuade him to confirm belief.
To be honest, the contents of our recent talks escape from the problem. I don't know how to convince him. I know that escape mustn't be the solution, but I really don't know how...
Could you please give me some suggestion? I meant the ways to persuade him.
Thanks

Apart of social problem, do he himself really want to marry you ?

Well i would still suggest you to first find solutions for the problems which he has.. if he is telling tht he has problem with culture difference then first ask him why didnt he think of it before falling in love with you.. Also ask him that whn you are ready to adapt to indian culture and indian tradition what else he needs.. also you love him so much so there is no other things which he is compromising on

Thanks Sunidhi, I'll take into a good consideration about your suggestions.

Ricky, do you think I should ask him the question, or...? I'm not sure. I always don't have confidence in anything. This is the problem of how deep is his love, right? It was really deep when we were together, and even later I went back. But now, I'm not sure...

yeah dear please go ahead and do it.. its difficult to take this step but its better to do it now rather then wait and live in pain..

Thank you for your support Sunidi. All things are difficult before they are easy. I believe that there will be a way out

Sunidi, could you please tell me something about Indian personality ,the ways of dealing affaris, the manner of speaking? Guess Indian don't like circumbendibus, right?

I was always trying to learn all these, learn from him and some instruction, but very little and hard. You know I have to find a better way to disucss the problem with him.
I've drafted a letter, haven't sent off.

well its easy dear.. i guess u just show him tht u dont care for him for few days..if he reallys likes you or needs ur attention on him he will ask you why have you changed tht time you just tell him tht ur not interested in keeping a relation to which he cannot give a name. and for u its hard to be friends after all ur feelings...

Thanks Sunidhi, but I'm afraid it won't work. He's too busy, moreover, he is too rational. If I don't care for him he would accept it as the reality. To be honest, most of our contacts are initiated by me.

In my letter, I listed two choices for him, 1, contiune our realtionship, and strive for our future together; 2, give up, and don't contact with each other any more.
It's not that I want to intimidate him, but just give myself an answer.

dont worry dear.. you are doing perfect.. also if he dont turn up let him go.. may be he is not worth you.. you will get some 1 more better then him.. and life is just not ending if he is not there..so relax..