What to do -Family pressure to marry but guy don't clear !

erru · 02-04-2010, 10:12 PM

hey!!!
i m 25yrs old and had been in a long relationship with a guy who dumped me after 4 yrs to be with one of my best friends...i got over him and started dating again...but i m not the same person now...i have a lot of insecurities....well the guy i m dating now is good, says he is serious and plans to get married to me...at this point of time neither m i looking for a fling...i just wanna settle down....the problem is my mother is putting a lot of pressure on me that this guy should talk to her and meet her....my grandmother and masis(aunts) all r desperate for me to get married....and every other day this topic becomes an issue in our family....i have told this guy what my family wants...he says he will talk to my mum soon...but he never does...he would say he will talk in 2-3 days and then after 2-3 days he will just scream at me....the thing is i dont consider him neither my family wrong in what they want...and in the middle i m stuck....no1 asks what i want....i feel like ill have a nervous breakdown one day...sometimes i feel i just dont wanna get married ever....i just hate it....my family should understand me and if this guy says he loves me then he shlould understand too what i m going through.... the result is i get frustrated , fight with him.... i dont know what to do...i told my mum strictly that no marriage talk but she would reinitiate that in 2-3 days....i need help...plz tell me what to do....

02-06-2010, 03:20 AM

Hi Erru

How are you?

Don’t feel bad if I say something wrong.

We all have some special person but we have to wait for their arrival.

So keep your calm and wait for the right guy.

If talking about this guy then straight away talk to him about your marriage and sort the problems if there are any.

NOTE:-I don’t think he really loves you. As per your point “he would say he will talk in 2-3 days and then after 2-3 days he will just scream at me....” if he really love you he will never scream at you he will try to make you understand his problem and not try to ignore his problems.

At end the decision are upon you and it’s your life we are here just to suggest you the right path.

02-09-2010, 05:40 PM

Well hi ya dear................ Erru.................
this is azhar nd nice meeting u..................wellcome to ETI........comin to ur problem..........just a bit complicated maybe u made it or ur family members made it complicate for u................both ways u r jacked................vry badly...........well i think u should wait for things to happen..........u wanna settle down thats good.................but what bout the guy..........his family....................there r possibilities that u end up in a mess wid such a hurry............relationships do not settle up overnight so u have to wait give some time.........i know u got insecure wid ur past relation but it does not mean that everyone is the same.............listen up u r the one who will go to his place afterr marriage so take ur time................tell ur mom make her understand u need time dear...............bout the guy...............guy's have this in them did u ever try nd listen his part of the story............i'm not takin the guy's side but still if u want to go ahead do try nd listen to him afterall just settling down won't help...............right so think bout it.........................and then decide.........do not hesitate to ask ur queries......so take care................GOD BLESS U..............

03-25-2010, 06:28 AM

howdy erru, there is one way to know for sure....muster up all your wit and make a chance encounter happen....you would know your family members' routine....so just make it happen that you bump into them when you are with this guy....he will have no option then.

03-28-2013, 04:36 PM

Erru welcome to ETI.... Well this is not just your problem after certain age family members put lot of pressure on their child to get married, ultimately it depends on you, I feel sorry for what happened with you in past, but also want to tell, with your line

I don’t think he really loves you. As per your point “he would say he will talk in 2-3 days and then after 2-3 days he will just scream at me....” if he really love you he will never scream at you he will try to make you understand his problem and not try to ignore his problems.

I dont think he loves you just as Jigs said, if he would have really loved you, he may not have done the things you are mentioning like screaming and lying all the time, and I would also like to add here, don't rush for things as it may mess up your life more than it is now, I can suggest you one thing to stay away from your family problems, just ignore them for the period and whenever a guy comes to see you, talk to him clearly in person about your plans of not to get married so early as you are not ready to go for it, and be patient you will get your Counter-half at the time when it is written in your fate to come to you, till then be patient.

What to do -Family pressure to marry but guy don't clear !

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What to do -Family pressure to marry but guy don't clear !

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