Hi. i am 21 yrs old an hv bn dating my boyfrnd 4 3 yrs n few mnths. since 1 yr there hv been major instances of extreme verbal an emotional abuse. the case of physical abuse hs bn once.,my dilemma is whether or nt 2 call it quits cz my bf also hs major issues n fls frustratd cz of certain aspects of my behaviour. when v hv arguments, i cnt find peace till d mattr is dealt wd extnsively n persist alot,.he on d othr hnd cant tolerate lenghty sermons. he readly wnts 2 solve thns 2gethr bt nt at 1 go lik me. dis is wher v clash.. i m aware of my shortcoming regarding dis, however, if dis ws it dn i wud hv hapily acptd al d blame..
in d mst heated of argumnts i always refrain frm abusive language however dis is nt d case wd him. he uses derogatory terms 4me mst of d time. when he is angry. smtyms the frustratn is caused by my behaviour ,as cited erlier, n smtyms its nt. irrespective of the cause he showers me with the choicest swear words, couple of times he hs evn cm to d xtent of calling me a loose charactered grl..later he wud apologise, always...n nvr falls short of taking utmost care of me...bt d severity of his disrespectful behaviour is hrd 2 neglect.
I am confused. a major cause of his anger is my egging him..else for other stuff, he hrdly raises objections. ironical, bt when it cms to my mood swings or anger, he endures it all without a frown ..but i nvr insult him..dats where i fl emotionally cheated. i duno if m wrong bt , watevr my faults r, i fl atlst my dignity shoul nt b attacked..evn mistreatment of prisoners evokes protest from society. m nt evn dat.....m i wrng in demanding respect evn if i hv major flaws? dats my dilemme. whether 2 blame myslf 4 nt addressing his problems n stay, mk d effort 2 remove the root causes. or should i walk out, coz respect is d cornerstone? v luv each other alot...both of us hv stood by each other during testing times...would b unfair 2 say dat he is nly abusive..bt lik i said its hrd 2 ignore d mistreatment, espcly when it happns 4 d 100th time. n its also hrd 2 dismiss his reazns, cz he hs time n agn, rquestd me2 change my mannr of dealing wd argumnts n tryn 2 undstnd hs limitatns...
please help....
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