I loved one guy from other community..now he is getting married to some other lady..i m not able to bear this..i want to marry him..pls suggest


Regards
Mercy

Hi Mercy Moses,

Its natural for you to feel so. Its not easy to see the person you love marrying someone else and its very much genuine for you to feel sad and disappointed. But you need to understand couple of things :

1) He is an individual and he has his own life. He has complete rights to marry the person of his choice and spend his own life with her. Moreover, you nowhere mentioned that he was in love with you and that he promised to marry you, so its quiet clear you are out of this whole scene.

2) If you love him unconditionally, you should have approached him once with your feelings and should have atleast tried once to speak your heart out. But either you didn't do it or your proposal was rejected by him. In both the cases, your chances to marry him are obsolete.

So, my honest advice to you would be to leave him and stop thinking about him. The sooner you accept this fact that you both are not destined to be together, the easier the things will be for you. If you were in love with him and if you didn't let him know about your feelings to him, then I guess, you did wrong to yourself. Anyways its late and its high time you should stop hoping about things to work out in your favor.
He is an individual and he has his own life. It would be better if you try to leave him on his life and try to MOVE ON !!

Remember its not the end. Life has something better for you in store, which you are not able to see right now but will realize soon.

Hi Pulkit,

thanx for the mail, i told him many times about my feelings and i want to marry him.........but when ever we discuss abut wedding..he says his caste and community vll not accept a christian girl..as he belong to Bengali Rajput(thakur's) in olden days they were knows as Zamindar's...........but deeply we both were in love with each other.......he has shown me the really meaning of love.........i dont know why he is not interested to marry me........after a good relationship......when u love someone one..u shd be able to say yes i love her..instead of hiding from everyone........i dont think so now a days..people in any caste and community are againist love marriage....the thing is we shd be strong enough to face it.......i want to know is it true in Rajput family they wont accept a girl from other caste.....

U know Pulkit he knows in and out about me.......and now he is marrying someone else..........i cant express how i m feeling from inside.....as a women its very hard for me to digest..my love is marrying someone else......:-( from the time he went to select a girl for him...neither i m eating properly or sleeping.........every nite i'll cry on my fate..........i m not able to think about any man in my life.

Hi Pulit,

Thanks for the e-mail…..actually many times I told him about my feelings and want to marry him………..but whenever we discuss about wedding…….he says his caste and community will not accept a Christian girl…..as he belongs to a Bengali Rajput(Thakur’s) in olden days they were known as Zamindar’s………..and deeply we love each other………I can’t understand when we love someone….why we cannot discuss and share with someone…and say yes I love her/him………..i want to marry her……instead of u try to escape from her and marry someone else…….about what my feelings………..our relationship was very good…………I want to know is it true rajput’s will not accept a girl from other caste?
U know pulkit he knows in and out about me……and now he is marrying someone else….as a women it is very hard for me to digest………..my love is marrying someone else….from the time he went to select a girl for him…….neither I m eating properly..Or sleeping………just I m crying on my fate……….not able to understand how to accept someone else in my life……for a man it might be easy to forget his love……..but for a women it’s very difficult………hope every man can understand their love………….

Its not easy for anyone to forget love, even for men, but I think sometimes they are more realistic in taking decision than women. (I am not including those who never loved their woman from true heart yet were in relation). May be he understand that consequences of declaring can be tragic , he has hence decided to leave you. May be he is too in pain somewhere not showing you, because its the foremost quality expected from a man.. ie. not to show his emotions.

Hey, Pulkit, that is wonderful video, I really liked it. Thanks for sharing with us. I have saved it in my computer
Infact Awsome video, I just watched it ..

Originally Posted by Mercy Moses

Hi Pulkit,

thanx for the mail, i told him many times about my feelings and i want to marry him.........but when ever we discuss abut wedding..he says his caste and community vll not accept a christian girl..as he belong to Bengali Rajput(thakur's) in olden days they were knows as Zamindar's...........but deeply we both were in love with each other.......he has shown me the really meaning of love.........i dont know why he is not interested to marry me........after a good relationship......when u love someone one..u shd be able to say yes i love her..instead of hiding from everyone........i dont think so now a days..people in any caste and community are againist love marriage....the thing is we shd be strong enough to face it.......i want to know is it true in Rajput family they wont accept a girl from other caste.....

U know Pulkit he knows in and out about me.......and now he is marrying someone else..........i cant express how i m feeling from inside.....as a women its very hard for me to digest..my love is marrying someone else......:-( from the time he went to select a girl for him...neither i m eating properly or sleeping.........every nite i'll cry on my fate..........i m not able to think about any man in my life.

You are most welcome. I only try to sort out things in one's life. I don't claim to make it perfect but I just try to lessen the pains so that it becomes simple and easy for one to tackle it on his own.

All right, so finally you tell me something. See, caste and community problems are something different. Your case is another thing now. There is a very simple thing you need to analyse and understand here, he is not marrying you not because you are a christian and he is a Bengali Rajput. He is not marrying you because PERHAPS he doesn't loves you.
What I can see from your question is , he never ever tried to convince his parents on the point that he want to marry you. Had he been in love with you, he should have atleast tried once to confront them. But what I see is, he hasn't ever tried doing it.

So, you should now understand if the person cannot take a stand for his love, how perfect is he for you ?? Moreover, if he knew before that his family will not accept a christian girl, he should have stayed away from you and should have told you that things like marriage between you both won't materialize in future so that you should stop having any hopes. But now when time has passed and things are out of control, he is marrying someone else.

So, its time you should realize that he is not the one meant for you. don't get dis-heartened if you are not marrying him. I told you, life has something better for you in store. Wait for it patiently and don't loose hope. Moreover, I don't appreciate the way you are leading your life. Eat and sleep properly and for God's sake please stop crying. It is not the solution for your problem. It will only make you weak from inside. Handle things practically and maturely in future and remember you life is not bound to someone. It is you, who make it and it is you who destroy it.

LIVE YOUR LIFE !!!

Originally Posted by asaam

Hey, Pulkit, that is wonderful video, I really liked it. Thanks for sharing with us. I have saved it in my computer
Infact Awsome video, I just watched it ..

Thank you so much for appreciating the song. It is indeed an awesome track.

Actually I liked video animation more than the song

For Mercy Moses, Pulkit already said applies completely here, however, I say that he does love you but not intense enough to get you by any mean. So, you should not worry about him at all.

Thanx to pulkit and asaam,

i'll try to forget him now.........its very difficult for me to do it.........i will not waste my life behind him.......when he doesnt care for my emotions and feelings.........why should i cry for him.....he is not worthy of my love..

Hi Mercy Moses,
Agree with pulkit & assam, and it looks like you had a change of perspective already regarding this guy. But don't be discouraged, someone better awaits you, and it is the path you lead that will lead to its discovery. The path of love and marriage: 1) Have positive belief that you will find the one your heart & mind seeks. (2) Turn to God(for positive faith and with love only & complete forgiveness for this guy) (3) Positive karma(action), (very important, follow this throughout your life) - Help as many couples as you can(without interfering in their lives or relationships), singles seeking love and women as you can.(be it money wise, your good advice, buying gifts or household items that the couples may require, helping in their time of need / necessity, helping at weddings etc). You will observe that your life will be transformed and love will eventually find you to wedded bliss. Has helped many I know.
If you still have trouble sleeping, eating,coping, and constantly thinking about what this guy did, i urge you to go to your doctor and let the doc know that you are going through this 'withdrawal of romantic love'; after thorough examination, you may be placed on anti-depressants for the time being(when one is stressed or depressed, certain hormones drop in the body and some eventually break-down mentally & physically also). And do laughter therapy daily (10 mins of laughing),good for the mind, body and heart.
And if you want to remove the past impressions and negative impressions of this ongoing situation that is causing you heart ache and pain & prevent this from being rooted in your subconscious mind(this may have untoward consequences in one being attracted towards certain kind of men who may treat the individual with the same pain as opposed to the nice ones) , join kriya yoga(after consultation with your doc{if you have any ailments} & yoga teacher at art of living). And later you can learn to meditate. Find an 'artofliving' center near you, you can look up on the net. Kriya yoga recommended by many doctors(including me), scientists worldwide, has many benefits, read research. It will help you to come out of your situation with more ease.

Wish u best,
Dr. Sky

Originally Posted by Mercy Moses

Thanx to pulkit and asaam,

i'll try to forget him now.........its very difficult for me to do it.........i will not waste my life behind him.......when he doesnt care for my emotions and feelings.........why should i cry for him.....he is not worthy of my love..

Exactly.... Its good that you have realized this now. The sooner you move out of this...the better it is for you.