Hi
I'm a married housewife (Name removed) of 28 years and had an arranged marriage 2 years back. Me and my hubby (Name Removed) love and care for each other very much at times (when the time is good, though it's rare). But we keep on fighting almost daily for various small and big reasons. Let me tell you the fight intensity is big. We even beat each other during such fights. I cry very frequently and have even attempted suicide. Basically, our marriage is more of not working, but we can't divorce due to our family background.
There is a close childhood male friend of mine (OtherPerson-Name Removed). We parted in our early days only as our parents got transferred to different cities and we almost forgot each other. A year before my marriage, incidentally we discovered each other through a social networking site (he is also married now). Since then, we are talking/chatting almost on a daily basis for last 3 years and have become very close. We live in different cities now and haven't met for like 20 years or so. None of our spouses know that we've someone so close in our life.
Due to my differences with Hubby, I discuss all my personal things with this friend now (even things that only a hubby is ought to know). Honestly, this friend is more aware than my husband of what is going on in my life, be it big or small. He listens to me very patiently and never complains or ignores me unless he is very busy with his office work or wife. He loves his wife very much and gives his full time to his wife when he is home. But he hasn't told her about me for he feels his wife might doubt our friendship.
Now the problem: Over the time, I have gone so emotional for this friend that I can't imagine a life without him. Once he was traveling and was not available for a week. I can't tell you how I felt during that week. It was like I have been deprived of oxygen (he is not aware that I need him emotionally so much). On the other hand, this friend is sexually unsatisfied with his wife and recently asked for sexual favors from me. Though I don't want to sleep with him (I have high sexual desires but I'm very much sexually satisfied with Rahul), but I'm feared that if I deny this friend, he would probably stop talking to me and I would become virtually lifeless.
Kindly help what should I do. Please don't suggest to forget him. I have tried that and know I can't do that.
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