I've been dating a 22yr old Indian girl for the past 5 months, and things are going extremely well between us. If it were up to us, it looks like we would be going down the marriage route. however, the problem is that her parents are very traditional Indian parents that do not believe in love relationships. she did inform her parents from the start that she was dating me, a half sindhi boy, whose father used to previously work for her parents.
Her parents only comment at the time was that " you realize his father used to work for us". they did not try to prevent us from being together, but definitely expressed their concern about dating, and if people were to find out, then their family name would be ruined???
The advice my friends gave me was that her family will consider you as being a lower caste to them,[ even though I live in a bigger house], expect a large battle to try and win over their approval, if ever?
It is only after 5 months of dating and being completely transparent with her family about our relationship that her mother has ratcheted up her offence to try and force her daughter to break up with me. It seems that her Aunties are now trying to add their opinion about her dating, and is the reason for her mother’s increased offence.
My question is what do I do?
(1) Do I continue to date this girl because she does not want to surrender to the parents’ wishes, and just deal with the parent’s aftermath as it comes?
(2) Do I break off the relationship, due to the fact that if I get married to her, I will have her parents looking down on me for an eternity, but then I will spend a lifetime thinking what if?
(3) Do I let her solely handle the issue with her parents, but reluctantly see the drama that she has to go through with her parents, because of me?

Hello..

According to me as a girl.. will advice you let her ask their parents for the same. I hope your parents are agreed for the same.

Its again a matter of girl. And you can try to speak with her parents and try to create a good image in front of them.

Very Important thing is Don't loose hope and be positive.. Don't do things in hurry.. try to make things better slowly slowly.. have patience ...

Give hope to the girl also.. so that she can also convince her parents..

Good luck !

As Nupur said, in current situation, give it time and dont' be in hurry. Don't loose hope and also let girl handle her parent for time being.

Definitely the fact that "Your father used to work for them" is the biggest hurdle, as its a direct pinch on their family's reputation. Don't get me wrong but believe me its the first thing they which will always come in their mind. After that will come the problem of caste.

But just to add here, every parents wants happiness of their wards and in course of time, everything will be in your favour but as said.. it will take time.

To answer your questions as you asked..
1. Continue with the girl but don't be aggressive and avoid situations or direct clashes, let them feel that you are not challenging them. Advice girl to be supportive to parents but not a rebel and handle them politely. After all they too want well being of the daughter.

2. Get married to her if you really care about her and this relation but give it time , in such situation 5 months is a very small period. Definitely even they accept you, somewhere your presence will remind them their defeat and you will have to live with that but you can be very good to them to make them forget that.

3. Well let her go through all this alone with parents as said in Answer 1. And about suffering she has to face, its part of such relation. Infact both sides will face sufferings.. ie. parents and you but you can make such things tiny if don't do any thing out of haste.


Hope above will help you, let me know what do you think .

Hellow ,

I will back ricky up on his views. However I to want to add somethings

1. The question is Do you want to Continue? if yes then Ricky's advice suits you just fine
2. Her parents look down upon you, but the girl loves you and is standing up for you. You are marring the girl, not her parents. It is an important relationship with the girl's parents, and you can always change their opinion of you. Look at Sharukh khan's marriage for eg.
3.The girl should handle the parents. But you have to let her know that you love and support her decisions. Also if your marriage takes place and the parents see that you are worthy for their daughter, the complete senario will change. Best of luck