Girls family not accepting me (Love Marriage) - depressed now

Unregistered · 09-12-2013, 08:18 PM

Hello, I am 29yr old and and my GF is 30yr, We both are from Sikh religion but she is from a lower caste. We had a relation of more than 7yr till date. My parent are against of my marrige because of CASTE and AGE. Im in private job and she is a govt job. Now her family is against of me. Some one had given them some false statements against me. (i have more girl in my life, im only behind her for money, i will leave her after few month etc etc) They are not accepting me in any way.They are not interested in meeting me also Her family forcefull done a ROKA (Seen boy of their choose and Selected for her to get marrige) of her but she is unhappy, she is not talking to any of the boy family member and with the boy which was selected by her family. We love each other very very much. We never though of our life without each other. Now her family member torturing her emontional, physically also and i dont want this any more. She want we go for court marrige and im not accepting it because i dont want tht her family though wrong about me. She is trying as much as she can. They also beting her sometime for me. I dont now what to do and how to handle the situsation.Some time we though we cant live together then we can die together but that also is not good solution of the problem. Tell me how to convince her Father and Mother and make think happened happily.

Im very very depressed about this. We dont have any way apart from court marriage or giving up life.
HELP US !!
WE will be thankfull to you all ...

09-15-2013, 02:43 AM

Hello,

If it is just the false statements that had not let them accept you, then see if convincing them with your mutual friends or family members who support you can prove it wrong. And your last bet would be to tell them that you can get a lie detector test to prove yourself. In some cases of proving one's claims or sincerity this is done, the polygraph test, you have to find one in your city or where this can be done.This may sound like a far-fetched idea,but it works many times.
And below are some spiritual and DIVINE ways to follow conjointly:

http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ds-dr-sky.html

Dr.Sky

09-15-2013, 05:38 AM

Hii there,
The age is definitely a factor for the marriage though it is not much difference there is a difference of just one year, if you browse the forum you may find many threads which ask for the tricks to solve the problem of the inter-caste marriage and how to convince parents for the same, though fortunately yours is not a case like that, you both belong to same caste and therefore you should not face the problem of caste.
I just wanted to ask you few questions, I hope you will not have any problem to answer those questions, as they may help me to tell anything further on your matter:
1. Have you tried to talk to your parents about your relationship and planning about marriage with your partner???
2. If yes, what all you have tried to tell and convince your parents with????
3. Is the girl's side ready for the marriage issue or not????
4. What are your financial whereabouts, is your financial environment secured or not?????
Kindly answer these questions so that I can tell you further.

09-18-2013, 12:01 AM

Originally Posted by swapnilramani

Hii there,
The age is definitely a factor for the marriage though it is not much difference there is a difference of just one year, if you browse the forum you may find many threads which ask for the tricks to solve the problem of the inter-caste marriage and how to convince parents for the same, though fortunately yours is not a case like that, you both belong to same caste and therefore you should not face the problem of caste.
I just wanted to ask you few questions, I hope you will not have any problem to answer those questions, as they may help me to tell anything further on your matter:
1. Have you tried to talk to your parents about your relationship and planning about marriage with your partner???
2. If yes, what all you have tried to tell and convince your parents with????
3. Is the girl's side ready for the marriage issue or not????
4. What are your financial whereabouts, is your financial environment secured or not?????
Kindly answer these questions so that I can tell you further.

ANSWER OF your question

1. Have you tried to talk to your parents about your relationship and planning about marriage with your partner??? My parents are already against of love marriage and they said you can leave home and dont see back if you go this way.

2. If yes, what all you have tried to tell and convince your parents with???? Not convinced

3. Is the girl's side ready for the marriage issue or not???? The main problem is from girl side only. They are not ready to do it and not listing any think from the girl about me. They are now threatening my partner if we get married then they will kill me, if she don't according to parents wish then they say they will put me behind the bar in some criminal case. and then the girl get scared from this. She beg and cried lot in front of his family but no one care of her tears.

4. What are your financial whereabouts, is your financial environment secured or not????? we have already planned to run away and got everything for home use but then we tried a last chance to convince them but now the problem is more critical today.

Kindly answer these questions so that I can tell you further.[/QUOTE]

I have decided that if they dont let us marry then i am going to end our life and put their name in letter so that they could see how much is the pain

09-18-2013, 12:12 AM

Thank you for the suggestion

We have tried a girl family member and shared all our feeling but he put us in the problem. He told everything to the family and some false and incomplete things and some from himself also. They are not ready to even talk me on phone also and dont want to met me.

Now they are not sending their daughter alone. They start drop up and pick up from the office also and going to her friends places also to find me and kill me. They are threatening girl that they will kill me and then you cant do anything. Their some relative are in CBI and police so they threat her on their behalf.

I am not finding any solution of any thing. the condition is getting worst day by day and problem getting more and more.We have decided that if they will not convinced then we will give up both and tell them that we were not wrong.

Please friend help us and advice us what to do and how, Please advice for some law and safety also

Originally Posted by drsky

Hello,

If it is just the false statements that had not let them accept you, then see if convincing them with your mutual friends or family members who support you can prove it wrong. And your last bet would be to tell them that you can get a lie detector test to prove yourself. In some cases of proving one's claims or sincerity this is done, the polygraph test, you have to find one in your city or where this can be done.This may sound like a far-fetched idea,but it works many times.
And below are some spiritual and DIVINE ways to follow conjointly:

http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...ds-dr-sky.html

Dr.Sky

09-18-2013, 12:36 AM

This is not the end of world, secondly eloping is not a good idea at all. You should still try to convince them. May be you can ask your girl to simple say no to marriage. It is hard for us to imagine how they are forcing a 30 year old self dependent lady?

By law, you both are free to marry anyone, technically her parents are illegally forcing her and girl can even file case against them of harrasment and torture.

There are many similar cases where police provided protection and got coupled married, you both can simply file an application to some senior police officer or even to District Magistrate that you both are willing to marry but family are threatening and you both have danger of life because of "HONOR KILLING". Do not go to local police station, they may get influenced by girl's family.

But , best is that take legal advice, if you have lawyer friend then consult him or you may even visit a lawyer. Do not take any action in heist , calm down and think then make your move.

09-18-2013, 12:36 AM

09-18-2013, 07:58 PM

Hii Again,
I went through your answers and through your post that you replied with on my questions, I am still unconvinced with the way you answered my second questions, as to what ways you applied to convince, i.e., what points you have put forward infront of both of your parents and tried to convince them, can I know them??????
Secondly, I strongly disagree with you sentence

I have decided that if they dont let us marry then i am going to end our life and put their name in letter so that they could see how much is the pain

because eloping or running away or ending self life and committing suicide are all the works of Cowards and Losers, those who do not have a strong will power and a will to fight for what they love or what they want are the ones who commit suicide or run away from the problems.
If you decide to go against your parents while loving and entering into a relation with a person whom you clearly know that your parents wont accept, and you show a lots of guts at that time to step up against your parents will, then why you run away from the main part of your relationship i.e., convincing your parents for love, if you have a guts to love someone, atleast show some guts and also fight for it and win it from the world, this is the ultimate and real test for the ones who commit to be in love with others, it is the test you are put in by God to test whether your commitment that you have made to be in love is true or not, if you carry on your fight and fight to win your love along with your parents will than you are the real winner.
The Choice ultimately depends on you, to be a loser and run away from the test, or to be a winner and show to the world and almighty whatever commitment you have made about loving each other is ultimately true and you deserve to be with each other

09-18-2013, 08:13 PM

I want you to look at this post and I also want to tell you the girl in this post is fighting for her love with her parents from the last 4 years or so and is still believing that some miracle may happen and the determination and strong will to win her love is still alive after 4 years too, and this shows the unconditional and true love on the part of her on her boyfriend that makes her so strong to fight with her own parents, the situation for her is so worse that the whole family is on a opposite side and only she is alone on the other side and yes, I am there to support her not personally but via the medium of internet, and she is willing to fight these battle till she wins it, she is a real winner and a lover who is ready to do whatever it takes (ofcourse in a legal and ethical way) to win her love and also to convince her parents.
ref link: http://etalkindia.com/talk/love-frie...rt-family.html
I have also P.M you something which you may find on the notifications bar in top center have a look at it and do reply soon.....

09-18-2013, 10:44 PM

I never ever though of ending up life, run away, or any thing which end up my life but my GF evrytime say me that we dont have any other option so we run but i stood their only with her so that she could also understand and get some power to stand.

I dont want to elop but their is no other way now left because they dont want the girl to talk to me, they keep a eye on her, they check her phone daily, they physically torture daily (beat her) and this is cant see and though of.

But still i have a hope that we can convinces them and dont took any wrong step but if the condition are going same way then we dont have any option left apart from it. She want to run away or end life but i am making her strong giving her hope that one day we are going to get married so we have to fight for this.

Now GF family calling their all relatives to their place so that the girl could understand and marry as per family but she is not getting agree for it. We are fighting till the worst day (Marriage date of mine/her) dont come we will fight till then and if this not get success then we dont have any other way just eloping life .

Hope so you might understand my condition and situation. Now they are behind me and searching me to kill or threat me but the girl said if boy get any harm then i end myself. The problem are getting worst day by day and the pressure on her is increasing.

PLEASE HELP ME AND TELL ME WHAT LEGAL ACTION I COULD TAKE FOR MY SAFETY.

Originally Posted by swapnilramani

Hii Again,
I went through your answers and through your post that you replied with on my questions, I am still unconvinced with the way you answered my second questions, as to what ways you applied to convince, i.e., what points you have put forward infront of both of your parents and tried to convince them, can I know them??????
Secondly, I strongly disagree with you sentence because eloping or running away or ending self life and committing suicide are all the works of Cowards and Losers, those who do not have a strong will power and a will to fight for what they love or what they want are the ones who commit suicide or run away from the problems.
If you decide to go against your parents while loving and entering into a relation with a person whom you clearly know that your parents wont accept, and you show a lots of guts at that time to step up against your parents will, then why you run away from the main part of your relationship i.e., convincing your parents for love, if you have a guts to love someone, atleast show some guts and also fight for it and win it from the world, this is the ultimate and real test for the ones who commit to be in love with others, it is the test you are put in by God to test whether your commitment that you have made to be in love is true or not, if you carry on your fight and fight to win your love along with your parents will than you are the real winner.
The Choice ultimately depends on you, to be a loser and run away from the test, or to be a winner and show to the world and almighty whatever commitment you have made about loving each other is ultimately true and you deserve to be with each other

09-18-2013, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by asaam

By law, you both are free to marry anyone, technically her parents are illegally forcing her and girl can even file case against them of harrasment and torture.

There are many similar cases where police provided protection and got coupled married, you both can simply file an application to some senior police officer or even to District Magistrate that you both are willing to marry but family are threatening and you both have danger of life because of "HONOR KILLING". Do not go to local police station, they may get influenced by girl's family.

But , best is that take legal advice, if you have lawyer friend then consult him or you may even visit a lawyer. Do not take any action in heist , calm down and think then make your move.

Have you read what asaam mentioned in this post about legal stuff and things ?

09-18-2013, 11:05 PM

Hello,
There is too much of negativity against you both, first starting from yourselves, that is do not give up on your lives and look for self-sympathy or pity from them. Pursue your objections and overcome your issues in all different aspects available. PRACTICALITY counts(following safety measures with utmost intelligence while trying to convince them through a lawyer medium, since family members may also be endangered), SPIRITUALITY(has helped many, though you may not have time, do your best by helping couples, singles seeking love, best done at temples). DIVINITY- since there is too much negativity here, these must be done, pujas,yajnas by powerful swamijis.
Many these days do not know the power of prayer or pujas or yajnas, it can alter many aspects, remove negativity in one's life, atleast reduce it. And the illusion or maya in one's life changes and the players(those around you) change as well. Ancient vedic wisdom has proven right many times in many ways, from bringing rainfall, to healing, to making relationship better and so on and so forth
And both of you do the SWAYAMWARA PARVATHI MANTRAM JAPA 1008 times daily:
Swayamvara parvathi Manthra:"Om Hreem Yoginim Yogini Yogeswari Yoga Bhayankari Sakala Sthavara
Jangamasya Mukha Hridayam Mama Vasam akarsha Akarshaya Namaha "

Dr.Sky

09-19-2013, 12:04 AM

Originally Posted by Aarish Rizvi

Have you read what asaam mentioned in this post about legal stuff and things ?

Yes i have checked the post which was writen by ASAAM.

I want to now legal stuff for myselfso i am asking it again

09-19-2013, 03:11 AM

Well, asaam says that you should consult a Lawyer..

Man, its a serious matter, get serious and get serious advice and that is a lawyer now.

09-19-2013, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Aarish Rizvi

Well, asaam says that you should consult a Lawyer..

Man, its a serious matter, get serious and get serious advice and that is a lawyer now.

I consult to lawyer then saying you dont get any cal or met with them no one can file any case report. They saying they are just trying to convinces their daughter by threatening me so dont worry be clam.

09-20-2013, 06:08 AM

Hi Designer,

Couple of noticeable things in your problem statement.

First, you have already given up and don't want to fight for it. Same goes with your girlfriend. as said above, suicide or eloping away is never a solution. Your death will hardly change things on the girl's side. If her parents are adamant on marying her to someone else, they wouldn't bother whatever you do to yourself. Plus, don't drag your girlfriend into this. Putting your life to an end is your own decision and you should not involve your girlfriend into it. Don't develop these suicidal tendencies because they will lead you to nowhere. You will only become more and more negative and nothing will seem okay.

Understand, this is the time to react and not complain. Remember, don't advertise your emotions everywhere, there is no place for your emotions in this world. Instead, fight against them and try to grab happiness that belong to you.

Second, I don't understand why you holding yourself responsible for the whole thing. I get the point that your girlfriend was forced into getting all this and her ROKA was done without her consent. But you should understand your girlfriend is not a kid who can be scolded and forced into doing things without her will. She can straight away walk to her to-be in-laws and state herself clear. All she got to do is gather some courage and speak her heart out, if she believes they are wrong.
What was the need to keep calm and sit tight when her family was doing her ROKA ? She could have took a stand then and there. They are her parents and wouldn't kill her for anything.

The time has not gone and you both can still do something about it. Talk to her in-laws and tell them you both love each other and that she is being forced into this marriage stuff. Leave the rest to destiny. You have laws on your side, as stated above by asaam. If I am not wrong, her in-laws will understand the gravity of the situation and will re-consider the marriage.

Third, all these threats are fake and nothing will be done. Nobody wants to get involved in a case and face the insult all over. The maximum they MIGHT do is, make you a call from any of their Police relative and get you scolded well. Dats it !!

So, if this fear is stopping you from moving futher, don't feel afraid.

Fourth, Where are your parents ? Are they informed of all these things ? Do they know the situation and your idea of eloping away or suiciding ? Do they know about your relationship with the girl in question ? If yes, I would like to know their answer. If no, why so ? Do you plan to drop a "sorry" letter to your parents to see after you have left the earth ? If that is what you think, let me tell you, its a shame.
Inform about all this to your parents and see what they have to say. Tell them you love someone and you want to get married to her. Make them understand your plans and see what they have to say to you and your relationship.

Fifth, catch hold of that person who told these false things about you to your girlfriend's family members. Take him to her house and make him say the truth and accept the things. If you are not able to do this, ask her family members to investigate on their own before deciding your fate.

Sixth, consult a lawyer, as said above. Have some people on your side and in your support as well. If things worsen up, you are not left alone in this world to fight back.

Very importantly, say sorry if even a percent of what they have heard about you is true. Respect from heart is very important. You may have the courage to take their daughter away from them but do you have the guts to apologise to them, cry out loud and make them realize your pain and your love for her. If you can, do it because nothing is more important than this.

I hope, I could make myself clear. I might be wrong in many things I have said above but I feel I should tell them to you. rest is in your hands !!

Girls family not accepting me (Love Marriage) - depressed now

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Girls family not accepting me (Love Marriage) - depressed now

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