Parents had bad experience of love marriage of cousin-affective us

11-23-2012, 01:11 PM

i am in love with a guy..he's 22 yrs old..and i'm 19..
we both are of the same caste..his parents were very fine with our relationship..but..2 months ago..my boyfriends cousin's husband left her..which happened to be a love marriage..which has changed my bf's parents' opinion towards love marriage..and arent letting him continue the relationship..we're trying hard to convince them..but it isnt working..nor are we able to live without each other..we have plans of marrying after 6 years..but he's scared to continue the relationship thinking where his parents will reject us in the future..pls help..its impossible to forget him..

11-23-2012, 07:11 PM

Hello anju rathor,

There is just one thing that can be done. You need to make his parents understand, its always not the case that love marriages come to an abrupt end like one that happened with his cousin. Make them accept that you genuinely loves him and you have even started taking him as your life partner. Living together is the only best option available with you and certainly you will not leave him anytime.
Moreover, the case that happened with his cousin can happen with any other girl, which definitely includes you too. So, if they have this fear of you leaving him one day, the same can happen with you too. Being a girl, things might turn out to be very difficult for you compared to him.

So, you need to make them realize love comes with no guarantee and so do arrange marriages. Ending a relationship by justifying and being judgemental on one case if definitely not appreciable. You can assure them nothing of this sort will ever happen from your end because the only factor that drives a love relation is respect, which is obviously not lacking in your relationship.

Wait for sometime for the things to settle on his cousin's side and then initiate a talk. Don't panic !!!

02-20-2013, 08:59 PM

Its been 4 months already..nothing seemed to have changed..we tried forgetting each other..tat's not working either..his parents aren't talking abt this issue as of now..we still have few years to get married..but my boyfriend is still very scared if our relationship doesn't work in future..scared if his parents dont accept 'US'..i've been telling him tat things will certainly change in few years..but he's still very worried..and we genuinely love each other..

02-21-2013, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by anju rathod

Its been 4 months already..nothing seemed to have changed..we tried forgetting each other..tat's not working either..his parents aren't talking abt this issue as of now..we still have few years to get married..but my boyfriend is still very scared if our relationship doesn't work in future..scared if his parents dont accept 'US'..i've been telling him tat things will certainly change in few years..but he's still very worried..and we genuinely love each other..

Hi anju,

Don't worry. You guys continue with your relationship. If his parents agreed to the relationship once, they definitely will agree to it in the future. Things are going bit rough at his cousin's side and every input from there to his parents will affect their decision. Let the things settle down with time and you will get back on the track again.

02-21-2013, 06:12 PM

I so want tat to happen..waiting for him to be with me like before..hope everything will be fine..please pray for us..will surely invite u if i marry him :P

02-22-2013, 11:31 AM

Originally Posted by anju rathod

I so want tat to happen..waiting for him to be with me like before..hope everything will be fine..please pray for us..will surely invite u if i marry him :P

Definitely anju, it will be pleasure for me to attend you marriage. Don't panic. After sometime start afresh and tell his parents that they were ready for the marriage at first place. Now why are they ruining everything by taking a decision based on a remote possibility?

02-22-2013, 11:31 AM

vipgameyeunhat · 02-22-2013, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by Pulkit

[COLOR="#008000"]
Definitely anju, it will be pleasure for me to attend you marriage. Don't panic. After sometime start afresh and tell his parents that they were ready for the marriage at first place. Now why are they ruining everything by taking a decision based on a remote possibility?
[/COLOR]

03-12-2013, 02:16 AM

Please give me tips as to how we can convince his parents..he's really been scared..he says he doesnt believe in our future together and tat kills me and scares me..but at no cost i want to lose him..we have nearly 4 to 5 years for marriage as per our plans..WAT DO WE DO..PLEASE HELP..

03-12-2013, 04:28 PM

Make your Boyfriend ready to face his parents to bring change in their decision, and First of all you both have to calm down yourself it is just a matter of time when his parents will come out of shock, the rejection is just due to the sad news of the cousin's marriage that came to a sad end, you both don't loose hopes and stay with each other.
The other thing you can do is to try to convince your boyfriend and make him strong to stay on his decision of marrying you and you, you said it is many more years for you to get married, so I suggest you to let the things settle down and get them back to normal, once his parents start living their daily routine and come out of the shock, then you try to convince them, and they will surely agree, because the reason why they are denying this relationship of yours is not much grave it is just because of shock and fear of similar thing happening to his child too.
Best of Luck and Please Do not cut off your relationship

03-13-2013, 02:24 AM

Thank u so much..when do u think we should talk abt it to them?and..wat if they still act adamant?

03-13-2013, 04:23 PM

Originally Posted by anju rathod

Thank u so much..when do u think we should talk abt it to them?and..wat if they still act adamant?

How much time has passed after that incident happened to your B.F's cousin please specify and they will remain admant for some period but if you insist them to rethink on their decision they may get convinced for your marriage again it is definitely due to the mental trauma they are facing due to the shock they have got, try to sooth them and win their confidence first, contact your B.F's parents and you try to convince them that whatever happened to your may be sister-in-law was sad but do they want to ruin 4 more lives along with your sister-in-law's life due to the decision they are going to take, it will not just add oil to burning fire, but they will feel guilty about it in future seeing you and your B.F's life getting worse due to their force.

03-14-2013, 02:32 AM

Its been 3 to 4 months since the incident..and i guess his cousin's problem's got more complicated too..they stay close by..so they get to know everything tat happens in her life..my bf's parents had been really cool abt our relationship in the beginning..but ever since this happened they've changed..tat's wat is worrying..dont u think their opinion will change in a year or two atleast?

03-14-2013, 03:49 AM

Hi anju rathod,

I am glad swapnilramani is handling your problem very well. Keep it up swapnilramani.

Just to add on to what he has said, yes we both believe that his parents will understand your point someday provided you stop worrying too much about it and keep patience. Wait for the matter on his cousin's side to settle down a bit. After that you both can sit together with his parents and assure them that nothing bad will happen in your relationship if you have blessings of elders and love of each other.

Tell them you are not fool to talk to them, putting in so much efforts if you have to leave each other and go. Explain them you don't like to get into an argument with them as they are your parents if you have to part ways in future. Moreover, they have agreed to it once, they shouldn't change their mind now judging something about which they have a little or no idea. They only know things that they have either seen or was told about. The rest part or the crux is still unknown to them.

So, we both are pretty sure things will work out someday. Till then have some patience and be assertive in your approach.

03-14-2013, 05:24 PM

I have stuck a brilliant idea to make yourself a very ideal wife of your bf infront of your may be in laws :
Now you know it very well that the situation is getting even worse for your Sister-in-law though cousin but she is your sister-in-law, try to first soothe your sister-in-law and try to make her comfortable first, she can work as your re-entry to the heart of your in-laws and also try to find some alternative and best solution to overcome or atleast make the soothe your in laws and help them to overcome the situation, tell them whatever happens you are with them always at any point and you are ready to help them whatever it takes to take them out of this situation, try this with your mother-in-law first because if she gets convinced with your efforts in this situation she will definitely become your big support to convince your Father in law for marriage, start "MISSION NANAND BHOJAI GHAT BANDHAN" first and try to convince the sister-in-law to support you and tell your bf parents to make his brother to marry you.

Parents had bad experience of love marriage of cousin-affective us

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Parents had bad experience of love marriage of cousin-affective us

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