Im an indian hindu lady who is married for 8 years now and has a 5yr old daughter.Life was going normal until a Muslim guy from India joined my office.He is 1 year younger to me.(Im 29 and he is 28). we became very good frnds in a short span of time and we both were so comfortable in each others company, we could speak about anything without any problems.Soon our friendship turned into love and we started seeing each other, to the extent of having physical relationship with each other. Then i had to change my job to another company, and it was very hurting not to see each other. but we were in touch almost all the time on phone and also we used to meet whenever we could. Both of us knew very well that this relationship was not going to give us a life, and we tried several times to stop the relation, but we couldnt and it continued for almost 10 months. His parents were looking for girl to get him married in India and then it was his time for one month vacation. Before he left for vacation, both of us knew that his parents might get him engaged during his vacation and even he showed me the photos which they had shortlisted for him.We deceided that we will not meet again, but we didnt stop calling each other and speaking until he was in the airport. I was missing him so badly during the one month when he was not here and we had absolutely no contacts with each other.the day he returned back, i called him twice but he did not answer keeping me wondering whether he came back or not.Then by evening, through a frnd i came to know that he is back and that he is engaged. i tried calling him and finally we spoke, he told that his parents had found a girl and he met this girl two times (once with his parents and once with his sister and family.I was broken down when he told that now things will not be like before and that he cannot speak to me anymore. he even removed my name from his friendlist in social website.i was so mad at the time that i tried calling, crying all those possible things, which made him more upset and finally i decided that i will not call him again, but couldnot control my feelings for more than a week. Almost after 3 weeks, i told him that i wanted to meet him,and speak to him.at first he refused, but then he agreed and came to my place. I cried a lot and he too cried in front of me, he said that our relation will ruin the life of many people and so we should end it.also he told that he cannot talk to me coz then he will not be able to be loyal to his fiance.that day, we sat together and discussed and finally decided that everything is over, we can call once in a while,but nothing more than a friend.
From that day onwards, it is one month now and we hardly spoke to each other two times.both the times discussed about some business matters and never spoke anything personal, though our call lasted for almost 45mins both the time. The thing is im not able to control my feelings for him, though i know that he is moved on. Im not happy in my life with my husband and want to get a divorce, but scared of my child's future and the society. I feel like getting rid of everything and to go away somewhere and stay alone. I still have doubt whether he still loves me. Is there anyway that I can get him back and live a life with him together. Im so much in love with him that the thought of him being with someoneis kiilling me from inside.I want him back. please advise what to do.