Hi. i am in a relationship for past 5 years. now i am not sure whether we should go ahead and get married or not. Reasons being:
- we have a fought a lot in these 5 years (sometimes even on very trivial issues). while we used to fight, he was abusive and used to shout at me even when his friends were around. in-spite of my repeated requests, this did not stop. the reason he gave me for this was - that he is very irritated of these fights that go on between us and now can not control his anger whenever he gets a slightest feel that there is going to be a fight. i now feel humiliated and insulted whenever we are with his friends. (he was very loving in the beginning. this happened gradually). i also have heard his friends bad-mouthing me.
many a times he has switched off his phone when we had fought. if i cry, it irritates him.
- there was this particular girl that i did not want him to talk to. he told me that he has stopped. but i later found out (through his skype account) that he used to regularly chat with her. so, he lied to me. though i am sure that there was nothing going on between the two, but do u think that lying here was a good idea? after this episode, i trust him a little less at certain times.
- his parents were against us. and two occasions, they did agree to our relationship, but as soon as i talked to my parents, they came back to 'no'. so i had to tell my parents that now they are not agreeing. at these occasions, instead of being supportive, he told me that as his parents did not agree, he does'nt want to be with me. i had to get the things back in place. i had to convince him that we can make it.

the positive thing that i have now is that he has finally got his parents to agree.

i do not know what to do.

i know i have gone a little long..but please do help.
Thank you.

Hii,

I read the whole passage that you have written and I understand the mental agony you are going through. You are, right now, going through a dilemma and if this situation is not handled in time, it might get worse in future.

See there is a lot of things that you need to analyse right now.
Somewhere, I really believe, the least the difference between two people involved in a relationship, the better is the relationship. Now you guys have a lot of differences. Firstly, the fights that you occasionally have. Secondly, parents intervention and disagreement to your relationship and last, but not the least, is the trust.

At the other hand, try to realize these facts also : Fights happen, they are a part of every relationship but it depends on the intensity and frequency of these fights that is the driving force for one to make a decision whether he/she wishes to continue with his relationship or not.
Parents interventions and disagreements can be handled with practicality. If you sincerely want to get married to your partner, you can try your level best to convince them.
Regarding trust, all I can say is you might have been misunderstood. You need to talk to your guy in regards to this.

Now, in your case, I personally feel you should sit and talk to your guy in detail as to what your next step should be. You need to ask him sincerely, if he is ready to get married with you with the conditions prevailing in your relationship. Tell him truly and honestly that you didnt like him chatting with this girl (that you have mentioned in the problem) and lying to you when actually there wasnt any need.

Get to know what he feels right now about you and his relationship with you?? What does he feels about the future about the relationship ?? Are there any hopes or not ?

If his answer is yes, then I guess you shouldnt bother much. If its a no, end everything right away and move on !!!

Also, get the pros and cons of the relationship and ask yourself is you are ready for the relationship to make it happen.

Always remember, there should be a clear communication between the partners involved in a relationship. Get in touch with your guy and talk to him in detail.

I hope you will come to a decision soon !!!
All the Best...!!