+ Post a Comment HERE!   + Ask a Question / Post a Topic
Results 1 to 5 of 5

What to chose parents or 12 yrs love relationship .Intercaste Hindu & muslim?

Advert.

  1. #1
    shubhijoshicbop
    shubhijoshicbop is offline Just in!

    What to chose parents or 12 yrs love relationship .Intercaste Hindu & muslim?

    Advert.
    Hi

    I am shubhangini from akola
    i am in love with a muslim guy who is elder to me by 11 yrs we started dating when i was in 10th and now im 26 we r in serious relation i am Punjabi Brahmani girl from upper middle class family . ,y parents are dead against my relation as i am trying to convence them from last 4 yrs i don't want to ran away and get married this way
    as i am beautiful looking typical Punjabi girl and guy is not good looking. we have different standard of living
    i am ready to live with him in his conditions and we believe we can settle our life and we ll buy house once we ll get married but my parents are very low bcoz of my decision of not getting married according to them . thogh there was severe fights between us and he used some slang's for my family at that time i told my parents to search for boy ill get married according to their will . but after that he realized his mistake and he again trying to convence me i know he loves me he ll die without me , but some times i feel guilty for doing all this , or on very next moment i feel to go back to him and sometimes i think that ill stay happy only with him and not with the guy with whom they ll merry me .
    i feel insecured if ill merry him again he ll use all slang's with me and i wont be able to get accustomed to his religion .

    my parents dont find him compatible to me by any how i m phd DR . by profession and he is just diploma enginner and he does some property business he say that he can do anything for me . he keeps me happy by any way that i know . but major issue is i cant leave my parents as they always given me all freedom more than my sister or brother . they alwaya treated me a boy in family . when i leave that guy he is nothing without me he stop working ajust pray all the time and cry . what should i do now
    i want only solution to this problem
    i am not sure weather i ll stay happy with him forever leaving my parents. and i cant see him crying even
    i have asked this question on many sites but din got any answer yet plz helkp me

  2. #2
    Pulkit's Avatar
    Pulkit
    Pulkit is offline eTI Aluminium
    Hi Shubhangini,



    I have few questions that needs to be answered :
    First, I am not able to make out why and for what reasons your boyfriend, who is 11 years elder to you, is still unmarried. Going by the stats given above, I presume his age to be around 36-37. He is approaching 40. What made him wait for so long? Is he really waiting for you? His family never showed any unpleasantness ?

    Secondly, as written above, in the time span of 10 years, you completed with your Ph.D and he is still a diploma engineer. Why is it so that he never felt the need to go for any sort of higher studies or secure a good degree? If he really loved you and knew that you will be completing with your Ph.D, he could have atleast done a post graduation. I understand, there could be financial burdens, but, there are various ways a person can secure a good degree. There are correspondence courses, distance learning etc. He could have secured a decent earning job, which would have helped you to convince your parents. A good job and a good earning will promise a good future for both of you.

    Third, nowhere have you mentioned what opinion his family holds about you and your relationship with him. Are they okay with this relationship? Do they really accept you as his to-be-wife, etc?

    So, the situation at hand is bit tricky and frankly speaking I am not able to find a convincing reason as to why he wants to marry you?
    Analyse the whole thing at hand, he is approaching 40, is a Muslim i.e. of a different religion, is a diploma holder in engineering and is doing a real-estate business. You, on the other hand is beautiful, belong to a decent educated family and a Ph.d by qualifications. What strong reason do you have to support yourself ? Just the point that you guys love each other will not prove enough to convince your parents.


    Moreover, after reading all that is written above, I am not able to make out on the point as to whether you want to get married to him or not? Considering your situation right now, I can say, you are very much confused on your part. You are really not sure or confident if you will stay happy with him or not. The point where you mentioned
    but some times i feel guilty for doing all this , or on very next moment i feel to go back to him and sometimes i think that ill stay happy only with him and not with the guy with whom they ll merry me .
    i feel insecured if ill merry him again he ll use all slang's with me and i wont be able to get accustomed to his religion .
    clearly shows how indecisive, unconfident, unsure you are on your love.

    Ma'am, this is not what love is...this is not what being together is. After such a long relationship which lasted for more than a decade, you are now feeling pretty unsure whether you should continue with this or not? Just because he perhaps, abused you or used some slang on you, you want to end a 10 year long relationship.


    So, considering everything that's written above, on a very frank note I would say, you will find hard time convincing your parents for the marriage. Also, since you are in a state of doubt as to whether continue with the relationship or not, I would suggest you to put an end to everything. Emotionally, you might support yourself but when it comes to practicality, just loving your boyfriend won't be enough a reason to convince your parents who have always wanted you to marry someone who is a perfect match for you. I would never like yo to feel guilty about hurting your parent's emotions because whatever you are today, is because of them.


    Still, if you really want this relationship to work out, you can consider the option of changing your or his religion and then getting married.

    [/COLOR]

    Would like you to follow-up on this.
    All The Best !!!
    Take Care !!!


  3. #3
    dating_advice
    dating_advice is offline Just in!
    Do not. In case the relationship fails -- you'll be left lying on the streets. This happens very commonly, you'll see lots of such stories around.

    Breakup, find a guy who works and is good enough for marriage, date him and marry him after a year or 2. You parents will be happy, and you'll be happy.

  4. #4
    Aarish Rizvi's Avatar
    Aarish Rizvi
    Aarish Rizvi is offline eTI Bronze
    Quote Originally Posted by dating_advice View Post
    Do not. In case the relationship fails -- you'll be left lying on the streets. This happens very commonly, you'll see lots of such stories around.

    Breakup, find a guy who works and is good enough for marriage, date him and marry him after a year or 2. You parents will be happy, and you'll be happy.
    Hmm.. that is also another approach, may sound harsh but also should be looked upon.

  5. #5
    coznehaistoocommon
    coznehaistoocommon is offline Just in!
    The answer lies in ur heart dear.. its ur life ultimately.. U have actually felt the emotions and joy wen u r with him.. Nobody can give you answer of this question.. And also u r an educated person.. U r not meant to follow some random ppl's advice about such a major decision... Go with ur heart as in any circumstances you will b responsible for it... Not an anonymous guy/girl. And also u wont regret as it will b urs decision at the end.

    PS: No intention of hurting other ppl's view.

+ Post a Comment HERE!

Similar Topics and Discussions

  1. True n Deep love between Hindu girl and Muslim boy- Need Help!
    By ashiq.techie in forum Love, Friendship & Relationship Advice
  2. Hindu Brahmin Girl love with Muslim Sunny Guy and Polygamy
    By [email protected] in forum Love, Friendship & Relationship Advice
  3. What should i chose: loving parents or my love?
    By Unregistered in forum Love, Friendship & Relationship Advice
  4. Hindu girl from middle class family love muslim boy...need advice to convence parents
    By Monalis in forum Love, Friendship & Relationship Advice
  5. Hindu Muslim Marriage- Muslim girl family issue (Help required)
    By ak87 in forum Love, Friendship & Relationship Advice
X
Have Question? Ask now free!