Hi All,This is my first post...I am a punjabi girl ,working in an IT Company from last two years.My bf is preparing for cat exam,but he isn't constant for his carrier,and he's average in academics.We have been in relationship since four years.He belongs to a baniya family.They are middle class family ,but little less than us.His family knows about me.And his parents accepted our relationship.Even my parents know his family.because I introduced them as parent's of my friend(boy's sister).His family helped my family,economically too.They come to our home.My maasi/mama also said me directly-you can search a good boy in your field but it shouldn't be sc/bc(please don't mind anyone-it's their thinking).And boy's should look good in our family.But my bf has dark complexion and same with his family.My family gave me 2 years to do best in carrier.after that they 'll search matches for me.

My few queries are .

Will my family accept the boy?
Will boy do best in his carrier life?
When I should tell to my parents about this relationship?
What can I do in these two years to help my bf ?I mean motivationally..

Thanks,
abc

Hi,

Welcome to eTI forums.

You said your family is middle class family, so does his but your family has little higher status.. but on the other hand you said his family supported your family financially too ?

Also, you said your boyfriend is not really competent about career though he is preparing for CAT, which means even if he qualifies this year, it will take another few years to finish studies and then look for job and get settled. By that means, 2 years which you have is nothing.

About looks and dark complexion, what I feel is that there a lots of things you can't control but then again there are many other thing which you can. If he has good career, stunning personality and positive attitude then I am sure no family can deny such groom for their girl. But it all takes lots of effort. Your starting few words suggest that he is like an average guy with not many ambition and energy.. if its true , perhaps you are wasting your energy on wrong guy.

Thanks for your response. how much time shall I wait for him ?He wants to do good in his life and not awara type boy.He respects his family ,and mine too.may be his good time dint start yet/struggle time is going on? Like baniya families beleive in savings,so sometimes his family help my family (udhaar lena fir de dena )....but overall we are more (property ),I'm telling these things as my parent's point of view.as my pt. of view evrything is good there.I love him and he loves me..It's true...but due to struggle time,he isn;t becoming constant for his goal.....

Your answer is again confusing regarding family statuses but that doesn't matter much, but thing is that your family should feel good about it but you said by their perspective , they are superior to your boy's family. That's an issue. Now to make that problem subtle or less relevant, your boy should be exceptional and impressive in his career, achievements and appearance.

Hope you understands that everybody wants to do good in life, nobody wants to be a loser but problem is that very few people actually try to achieve it. Most people fail and then settle for anything offered by life as it is. Here, what I am saying that is he really devoted to have good future, if not for himself, but atleast for both of you, your love.

Hopefully he is not man with lots of dreams but no action...

Further, just to remind once again, you are already in job and he has not even finished studies, and to add it, you are a girl who are generally supposed to get married sooner than boys. So, all you got is two years to settle things for him or else its not going to be easy.

I think your boyfriend needs to think again for his career plan if you really wants him to get successful within two years or else it may take him 4-5 years to achieve his goals to marry you.


Good luck.

Thank you Aarish for giving me such Practical & Clear Solutions.Now,I understood that I have to think practical not imaginary . .God bless you.

Originally Posted by kirti123

Thank you Aarish for giving me such Practical & Clear Solutions.Now,I understood that I have to think practical not imaginary . .God bless you.

I am glad I was of some help for you. I hope you both will together workout something positive about it.

Hope to see you around.